


The One That Got Away

by TheLilNugget



Category: South Park
Genre: 17 year olds because they're doing things that's not appropiate for ten year olds, Angst, Blood, Blood and Injury, Blood and Violence, Butters is sad, Canon-Typical Violence, Car Accidents, Character Death, Curses, Fluff and Angst, Gay, Gay Male Character, Gay Smut, High School, Kenny Is Nice, Kenny is in an accident, Kenny's deaths aren't permanent, M/M, Mentions of alcohol, Mild Smut, Not Really Character Death, Pansexual Character, Swearing, Teens, Violence, bunny - Freeform, gay butters, mention of drugs, mentions of depression, pansexual kenny, unlabeled butters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-20
Updated: 2019-05-28
Packaged: 2019-06-13 15:07:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 20,980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15367281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLilNugget/pseuds/TheLilNugget
Summary: Butters is living your average teenage life. He has ambitious plans of leaving South Park and becoming successful in life.He has troubles with his life, but he's not depressed, he doesn't hate himself and he's comfortable with no friends.Well, that is until Kenny, who was the closest to a friend Butters ever had, who stopped speaking to him for years, suddenly  wants to become a part of Butter's life again. This changes everything about what Butters saw in his future. Is it possible that Kenny could be the friend that Butters needs or can't have?UPDATE FROM THE AUTHOR: This story is rarely updated. I have a lot of school right now, which demands a lot of my attention, and I can’t write as much as I’d like to. This story WILL BE CONTINUED EVENTUALLY, but it will take long between chapters. I will post as much as I can, but it will take time. This story is complex and demands a lot of time on each chapter to actually make it good. The next chapter will be up as soon as I’m done with it. Please be understanding and patient. Thank you for reading!





	1. What the hell happened to you?

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoy! (this has been on my computer for a long time, time to finally finish it)

Butters eyes fluttered open, but he immediately closed them when the sun’s bright rays hit them. The blonde boy opened his eyes a little bit a time, to let them adjust themselves to the morning light. His light blue curtains dimmed the light a little, but his sensitive eyes were just that. Sensitive.

 

Butters kicked the bedcovers off of him to fix them. The boy always moved so much when he slept, he always had to fix the sheets in the morning. 

 

The blonde pulled the blanket downwards to cover his feet, and then pulled it upwards to cover his arms. He was freezing, since he had left the window open last night, but he didn’t have the energy to get up and close it. Instead he reached for his phone.

 

_ 05:24 _

 

Butters sighed heavily and put it back on the nightstand. It was so early that his alarm hadn’t gone off yet. The boy rubbed his eyes and looked at the ceiling. It was the third day in a row that he had woken up before his alarm went off. The blonde hated to wake up in general, but waking up before the alarm was just straight up annoying as hell. It was like to stop eating in the middle of a meal, or stop listening in the middle of the song. You don’t finish what you start.  

 

Butters’s eyes scanned the room and eventually decided to look at a note that he had placed in the middle of the ceiling with the help of some adhesive. It was some stupid note that he had made when he was feeling really happy after being ungrounded. The boy didn’t know what he wanted to achieve by putting it there, but there it was, and he didn’t care enough to take it down.

 

_ Life’s too short to not smile everyday! _

 

It sounded like some stupid quote from Tumblr.

 

Which it was.

 

Butters decided that he wouldn’t be able to fall asleep again before school, so he kicked the bedsheets off of him, and put his feet on the cold wooden floor. The blonde bent over and picked up some clothes on the floor. He put them lazily on and walked out of the room without closing the window.

 

Butters skipped down the stairs, but did it rather quietly to not wake up his parents. Not for their sake, but for his. He didn’t want to get grounded for waking up too early. 

 

The blonde never really ate breakfast, so he just downed a glass of chocolate milk and brushed his teeth rather quickly. He avoided to look at himself in the mirror. Not that he hated how he looked. Well, he didn’t really like it either, but he just didn’t feel like facing himself that morning. It felt better if he just ignored himself in the shiny, clean mirror. 

 

The small boy tip toed past his parents bedroom to get to the hallway. He put on his jacket, grabbed his Hello Kitty-backpack and headed out the door, closing it carefully. The blond boy walked carefully down the slippery stairs, since they were covered in ice, but he quickened his pace when he got to the sidewalk.

 

It snowed heavily, but Butters was used to it. He was living in South Park after all. What actually bothered the boy, was the fact that he didn’t want to go to school. He didn’t want to face the friends he didn’t have. In school, he always was all golly and stuff, and he often was, but he also often wasn’t that happy. Today he didn’t feel like being golly, so he actually thought about just going like this. Sad and gray. But he couldn’t. Because the boy couldn’t deal with people asking what was wrong either, but quickly scratched that thought.

 

_ Like somebody would actually care. _

 

Butters kept walking rather quickly, and his house lied rather close to South Park High School, so the blonde arrived at the school after just a few minutes. When he tried to open the double doors, they were locked. He cringed at his own stupidness, because what the hell did he expect? That the school would be open at what? Six am? The small boy walked a few steps backwards and looked at the door, as if it would open up if he stared at it intense enough. He scraped his foot against the stairs to get the snow off of it. Butters hated those shoes. They were plain, black, gross shoes. He didn’t know why they were gross, but they were. They were his gross shoes. And he hated them. 

 

Lost in his thoughts about gross shoes, Butters didn’t notice that someone had walked up behind him. Suddenly, a pair of hands grabbed his shoulders and yelled “ _ Good morning! _ ”

 

The small boy jumped higher than Kyle’s grades, and his heart beated like crazy. He spun around, just to see Kenny’s laughing face. His face turned red from embarrassment. 

 

“Holy shit, Butters, you should’ve seen your face!”

 

Butters bet he looked hilarious, like always. His eyes were widened and his breathing still wouldn’t calm down. He would have been feeling absolutely humiliated if it was Eric or someone else, but Kenny was kind of alright. For some reason.

 

”Gosh, Kenny! Don’t sneak up on people like that!”

 

Kenny just grinned and put his hands in his pockets. His orange jacket had its hood down, so his dirty, blonde hair moved slightly in the air. When they were younger, he never pulled it down. Nowadays, he mostly kept it down when inside, but this was the first time Butters had seen him without it outside. 

 

“I don’t. I only sneak up on you.”

 

Kenny seemed to ignore that he had actually never snuck up on Butters before, but Butters didn’t care about that in the moment. He was just surprised that Kenny was actually talking to him again. They hadn’t spoken in ages. Literally ages. They had been pretty good friends in middle school, but then they kind of drifted apart. Butters never stopped liking Kenny, but Kenny didn’t have time for Butters. That’s at least what Butters thought, and that’s why he distanced himself from him. Kenny was too perfect, too manly and too amazing for Butters, and Butters knew that. He knew that way too well. So well that he…

 

“Butters, dude, are you okay? Did you just have a stroke or something?” Kenny said while leaning slightly forward, as if he was actually checking for any signs of a stroke in Butters’ face. The smaller boy slightly shook his head and collected his thoughts.

 

“Oh-uh, sorry! I’m fine, I’m just really tired!” Butters said with a high pitched voice. Kenny just smirked.

 

“Alright then. Why are you here so early? It’s like, six am or something. Any normal person would be asleep right now.” Kenny said while shifting his weight from his toes to his heels, going back and forth. Butters was still a bit flustered from the sudden jump scare, and that Kenny was talking to him again, so he still couldn’t quite form his words correctly.

 

“Oh! I’m just an early bird, that’s all! You know, early bird gets th-” Butters stopped mid sentence. The blonde boy realised something very strange about Kenny McCormick this morning. There were red stains on Kenny’s parka-covered shoulder. They shone in the early sun, as if they were wet.

 

There were blood stains on Kenny’s jacket. 

 

Not big blood stains, they were small enough to not notice them from a distance, but up close they were a quite worrying sight. Butters felt his heart sink like a rock from fear, and the thought that Kenny had gotten in a fight or hurt someone struck him like lightning. 

 

_ What the hell?! _

 

“My gosh, Kenny! Look at your clothes!”

 

Kenny looked down on the blood stains, and his eyes widened in surprise and fear combined. He quickly covered the stains with his hand and opened his mouth but no words came out. He almost said something multiple times, but choked on his words. All that was heard was stuttering noises.

 

“I-uh-it’s nothing. It’s just blood, right?” He finally managed to say.

 

But that did not make Butters look any less worried, and Kenny could see that clearly. He tried to awkwardly laugh it off, and let his hand drop so that Butters could see the stains again. 

 

“It’s mine, Butters, don’t worry. I haven’t murdered anyone.” 

 

The shorter boy still wasn’t convinced that Kenny hadn’t done anything that was illegal or bad, so he still leaned in to take a closer look.

“Of course you haven’t, but what the hell have you done then? It’s a quite worrying sight!” Butters yelled out.

 

Butters gently grabbed Kenny’s arm and pulled him closer to take a closer look. Kenny did not pull away. The shorter boy could tell that the blood had been splattered on Kenny, from how the stain looked. That however, did not tell Butters much, except for that Kenny probably had been very hurt. He looked up at Kenny with worry in his eyes.

 

“What happened, Kenny? Please tell me.”

 

Kenny just shook his head and gave a weak smile. “Nothing. I’m fine.” 

But Butters didn’t buy it. 

 

“Kenny, stop. You have clearly been in trouble.”

 

The tall boy just looked away. He seemed really uncomfortable, and Butters didn’t want to push him on the subject, but he knew that if Kenny was in trouble, he had to help him. 

 

“I promise I won’t tell anyone. I just want to help you. I’m worried about you. I don’t want to see you getting hurt.”

 

Kenny looked down at Butters with a look in his eyes that Butters had never seen before. He didn’t know what the look meant, but he was taken aback. Kenny had never looked so… whatever it was. But the boy with the orange parka smiled reassuringly. At least he tried to.

 

“I… was in an accident yesterday. Nothing serious. Just a few scars and a nose bleed. It’s fine, Butters.”

 

And Butters let go of Kenny’s arm, because the tone of the taller boy’s voice told him that this conversation was over. Not in a mean way, but they were done talking about the blood. Kenny shuddered a little. If it was from the cold or from… something else, Butters wasn’t sure. But the awkward silence between the two was enough for the smaller boy to understand that he had touched a sensitive subject.

 

But suddenly the door behind him opened, causing the Hello Kitty-loving boy to abruptly spin around. A teacher with black hair tied back in a tight bun, looked at the two boys with a look of surprise. She looked from Kenny to Butters and back.

 

“It’s quarter past six, what are you boys doing here?”

 

Butters began to say something, but was interrupted by a certain blond.

 

“Trouble sleeping.” Kenny said with a hint of boredom in his voice.

 

The teacher didn’t look convinced at all, but just shrugged and started walking back inside. “See you in class!” She yelled over her shoulder, leaving the two young men at the entrance. Butters turned to Kenny, giving him an awkward smile and bounced a little on the spot. The taller boy returned the smile and hit Butters friendly on the shoulder.

 

“See ya around, Butters.”

 

Butters watched as Kenny went inside the building, and left the shorter boy outside. He was still pretty shocked that Kenny had spoken to him when they hadn’t interacted with each other in pretty long. 

 

Maybe they would be friends again? Butters wasn’t sure. A lot of people had entered and left his life, so why would this be different? Why would Kenny care all of a sudden? Butters shook his head again and walked inside the building.

 


	2. Anxiety

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yup, we're still on the introduction part. Butters has anxiety. Don't you?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update. Enjoy!

_ 08:04 am _

 

This was the sixth time Butters had stared at his watch for the past ten minutes. He was extremely impatient, but wanting class to start already was something he did rarely.

 

And by rarely I mean never. 

 

But Butters already knew that this day was going to suck, since he this morning had already managed to trip on his shoe laces in front of Wendy Testaburger (not that he had a crush on her or anything, it’s just that she’s  _ Wendy freaking Testaburger),  _ got a text from his dad that he was grounded for three days for leaving the chocolate milk on the counter and Eric Cartman managed to sneak up on him at his locker, causing Butters to drop his books, and slowly picking them up while Eric laughed his ass off.

 

And on top of that, he still felt the mind fuck from Kenny talking to him again, because  _ what in the actual fuck.  _ He couldn’t stop thinking about why Kenny suddenly had decided to talk to him again. 

 

So he needed a rather big distraction, and thinking about chemistry class was the best he had. He had done his homework the night before, even doing the extra credit, hoping that could help him get a better grade. He wasn’t the best at chemistry. 

 

The blond boy was sitting right outside of the classroom, waiting for the teacher to come and unlock the door. That’s what he usually did on a monday morning, since he didn’t have any friends. Butters was fine with that though, he had talent for drawing, so he did that most of his time in the hallways. The hallways of South Park high school were big, and always full with people, so getting privacy in your drawing wasn’t the easiest, but the blue eyed boy managed to find his own privacy in his head, by shutting out the voices around him. He never shared his drawings with others, because he was never pleased with them. But then again, sharing his work with others wasn’t Butters’s thing. 

But suddenly Butters’s thoughts were interrupted by the teacher coming to unlock the classroom. Butters stood up from the chair he had been sitting on, and went inside, along with a few other classmates. The boy went with his routine, sit in the middle of the classroom, where no one will question why he chose to sit there. If he sits in the back of the classroom, people will think that he’s either a goth, or just really depressing. If he sits in the front, people will think that he’s an overachiever, and a teacher’s pet. The middle kids get no judgment. At least that’s what Butters assumed. The middle of the classroom was a safe card, and he didn’t want to lose that safeness. It wouldn’t be worth it, anyways.

 

So the blond sat down at a window spot, close to a bookshelf. The rest of the kids sat down at different places in the classroom. Not many had arrived yet, since class didn’t start in another ten minutes, but a few students had gathered to gossip. Butters couldn’t help but to eavesdrop on those things. He knew that it was a pretty shitty thing to do, but who hasn’t ever eavesdropped on gossip anyways? That’s how he got his information about the other students, because he never really talked to any of them. He didn’t avoid them, he actually liked when people tried to make conversation with him, but it didn’t happen often, so Butters had to take advantage of what he could muster up. Today the students were talking about some essay that Butters hadn’t done yet. They were telling each other about the hardest parts and why they hated it so much. Butters felt his panic creeping onto him. He had completely forgotten about that essay. He had been busy doing his math homework that he had forgotten about the history essay that they were supposed to turn in in two days. What they were supposed to write about was probably on the school’s website, so Butters quickly wrote down in his notebook that he would look it up and begin the essay this evening. 

 

“Alright students, sit down and be quiet please.” the science teacher, miss Smith announced to the class. The students did as she said, quickly ending their conversations with whispers. The sound of chairs being pulled out and scraping against the floor filled the classroom. Butters quickly closed his notebook with drawings when a girl with red hair, whose name was Red, sat down next to him. The blond boy preferred if people didn’t know about his drawings. Not yet at least.

 

_ 09:51 am _

 

Science class had just ended, and Butters was heading towards his favourite spot in the hallways. A small table with two chairs right next to a row of lockers in the hallway. Not many students sat there for some reason, so Butters could draw and study there in peace. He was just sitting down on the chair at the table and taking out the notebooks from his bag when a couple of students walked by. He recognised one of the girls, who had frizzy blonde hair, as Bebe Stevens. He went to South Park elementary with her. When she was walking by, she casually tossed some hair back and let out a sigh. “That damn history essay.” She groaned. “I better get the highest grade, because I was up all night writing it. I seriously can’t wait until winter break.” 

 

Butters stopped for a second in his movements. His normal routine of sitting down on the chair, placing his bag in the other one and pulling up his notebook, was paused for a few seconds.

 

_ No, no. It’s okay. I’ll do it tonight. I have plenty of time left to write the essay. _

 

But Butters was a normal teenager. He was hormonal, rebellious (at least a little) and stressed about life. So naturally, he felt anxiety creeping.

 

_ Focus on breathing, Butters. You’ll finish the essay by tomorrow.  _

 

Butters had anxiety. Not a anxiety disorder, or more anxiety than normal, but he still had it. Of course, all students at South Park high school had anxiety once in a while. But Butters was ambitious and a  _ very  _ stressed high school student, and forgetting about an essay gave him the anxious feeling very easily. And that’s exactly what was happening right now. 

 

The blue eyed boy tightened his grip on the notebook in his hand. He dropped the pen on the table where it landed with a quiet * _ click*.  _ He closed his eyes and breathed in and out, like the breathing exercise he had learned from a YouTube video. Butters didn’t get any big troubles breathing when he had anxiety, but he found that it helped him get rid of it quicker. 

 

After staying in that position for a while, he put the notebook down and rested his head in his hands, feeling a bit dizzy.

 

_ Please go away, please pass. I can’t deal with this right now. I AM going to write the essay. I will do it tonight.  _

 

The anxiety made Butters feel sick to his stomach, made his breathing slightly harder and made his heart beat a little faster. No huge changes in his body, but still uncomfortable as hell. He wasn’t the kind of person who could just distract himself with something else until he forgot about the anxiety. He had to wait it out. He couldn’t just let it go or something, he had to patiently wait for it to pass. 

 

“I will do it.” Butters mumbled once again. “Tonight I’ll write it, and it will be the best essay this school has ever seen. It will be gre-”

 

“Hey, Butters?” he heard a light voice say. The turquoise eyes boy looked up at a boy with a blue and red hat.

 

“Oh, hey, Stan.” Butters said, putting down his hands on the table, trying to hide his discomfort. “What’s up?” 

 

“Have you seen Kyle anywhere? Like, has he walked by or something?” Stan said, looking a little light headed. “Uh, no, I don’t think so. Is it urgent? I can help you look for him.” Butters said nicely while picking up his pen again. 

 

“No, I just have to return his pen. It’s fine, I’ll find him. Thanks anyways.” 

 

And then Stan was gone again. Butters watched him walk down the corridor for a moment, until he was out of sight, feeling a bit sad that Stan wasn’t interested in talking more. Then Butters started concentrating on his hands again. He stared at them while trying to remember what he was doing before Stan started talking to him. 

 

_ Right, the anxiety.  _

 

But the anxiety was mostly gone now. His calming exercises had worked pretty well, and a social interaction was the only kind of distraction that helped. To prevent the anxiety from coming back, the slightly short boy grabbed his headphones from his backpack and plugged them into his phone. While steadying his elbows on the table and feeling pretty happy, Butters turned on one of his favourite songs. Then he opened his notebook to the page with his latest drawing. He bobbed his head slightly to the catchy song.

 

_ Hey baby won't you look my way? I can be your new addiction. _

_ Hey baby what you gotta say? _

_ All you're giving me is fiction. _

_ I'm a sorry sucker and this happens all the time. _

_ I found out that everybody talks. _

_ Everybody talks, everybody talks. _

  
  


\-----------------

 

_ 04:46 pm _

 

Butters carefully opened the front door to his house. He didn’t want to get into more trouble with his parents. He was already grounded for three days, and he didn’t want to adventure the situation. 

 

Butters parents were awful. Butters knew this. He knew that his parents had been terrible his whole life. He just chose to ignore it. He knew that the social services would take him away if he wanted to. But they weren’t as bad as they used to be when he was younger. There was that time when they tried to sell him to Paris Hilton, but they didn’t really do awful shit like that anymore. They grounded him more than any other parent, but Butters could deal with that. As long as they left him alone. 

 

“I’m home!” Butters yelled out. No answer. They weren’t home yet. 

 

_ Sweet. _

 

Butters loved being home alone, and now he really needed it. He worked best alone, where he couldn’t be distracted by other conversations going on around him. That, plus he loved being able to blast loud music without anyone being bothered by it. 

 

The blond boy took of his light blue jacket and hanged it on the clothing hanger. He kicked of his shoes and put them neatly on the shoe shelf. Then he skipped up the stairs. He brought his backpack with him up to his room. 

 

The first thing Butters did was throwing his backpack on his bed and digging up his headphones. Then the boy sat down at his desk by his computer, that he had bought himself, for money he got from a few jobs here and there. He typed in the his school’s name in the search bar and clicked on the first search result that popped up, opening up the school’s website. He clicked on “ _ scheme for the week”  _ and opened friday’s scheme.

 

_ History essay: write a three pages long essay about why the french revolution happened. Includes who started it, why they started it, how it could have been prevented and how we can avoid something similar from happening again. Turn it in on friday in history class.  _

 

Butters scanned the scheme quickly, and calmed down immediately. The french revolution was easy to write about, and it was just three pages. Butters smiled to himself. This was nothing to have anxiety over. It was just wednesday, and he was fast at writing.

 

_ Easy. _

 

So he plugged in his headphones in his computer and turned on the same song as before again. He worked great with music playing in the background. 

 

The feeling of the anxiety letting go completely, made the blond boy’s heart feel very light. He opened a document and started writing.

 

_ The french revolution was a revolution that started May 5th 1789 and ended 9th November 1799. It occurred because of… _

 

_ Hey baby won't you look my way _

_ I can be your new addiction _

_ Hey baby what you gotta say? _

_ All you're giving me is fiction _

_ I'm a sorry sucker and this happens all the time _

_ I found out that everybody talks _

_ Everybody talks, everybody talks _

 

_ It started with a whisper _

_ And that was when I kissed her _

_ And then she made my lips hurt _

_ I could hear the chit chat _

_ Take me to your love shack _

_ Mamas always gotta back track _

_ When everybody talks back _

 

_ Hey honey you could be my drug _

_ You could be my new prescription _

_ Too much could be an overdose _

_ All this trash talk make me itchin' _

_ Oh my my _

_ Everybody talks, everybody talks _

_ Everybody talks, too much _

 

_ It started with a whisper _

_ And that was when I kissed her _

_ And then she made my lips hurt _

_ I could hear the chit chat _

_ Take me to your love shack _

_ Mamas always gotta back track _

_ When everybody talks back _

 

_ Never thought I'd live _

_ To see the day _

_ When everybody's words got in the way _

_ Hey sugar show me all your love _

_ All you're giving me is friction _

_ Hey sugar what you gotta say? _

 

_ It started with a whisper _

_ And that was when I kissed her _

_ And then she made my lips hurt _

_ I could hear the chit chat _

_ Take me to your love shack _

_ Mamas always gotta back track _

_ When everybody talks back _

_ Everybody talks, everybody talks _

_ Everybody talks, everybody talks _

_ Everybody talks, everybody talks back _

_ It started with a whisper _

_ And that was when I kissed her _

_ Everybody talks, everybody talks back _

 

_ (yeah, Butters loved this song) _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will come in a week or so. I'm going on a trip. When I come back, I'll try updating more often.
> 
> If you liked this chapter, please comment or leave kudos!


	3. Morning Walk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is it normal to knock on peoples’ windows? It is to Kenny.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

_ A dark room. Butters was in a dark room. He couldn’t see anything. It was pitch black. He blinked, trying to get his eyes to adjust, but nothing happened. Pretty creepy. His feet were wet. The floor is covered with water. Or is it water? He looks closer. No, it’s not water. _

 

_ His socks are red. They’re wet from a thick, red liquid on the floor. It’s blood. Butters gasped and slipped on the floor. He landed on his back, now he’s covered with blood. Who’s dead, who’s hurt, are the thoughts that instantly crossed his mind. Butters tries to get up, but something holds him down. He tries again, he slips. He tries again, and again, but an invisible force keeps pushing him back down. _

 

_ Oh God, Oh God, no, no, no, wake up, wake up, wake up, wake u- _

 

Butters eyes shot open, staring at his wall. His chest rose and fell quickly, breathing heavily. His t-shirt was wet, and stuck to his back. His blond hair was glued to his forehead, and he was sweaty  _ everywhere.  _ “Gross…” Butters muttered under his breath. He kicked off his covers and sat up, supporting himself with his arms. 

 

_ Just a nightmare.  _

 

Butters grabbed his phone on his nightstand to check the time. 

 

_ 06:52 _

 

_ Huh, that’s better than usual.  _ Butters thought to himself. He put his phone back and lied back down to get some extra sleep. 

 

“Maybe this is when it gets better.” Butters mumbled to himself. “If I just wake up in ten minutes, it-“

 

_ *knock knock* _

 

“Agh!” Butters screamed and pulled up his covers abruptly to hide behind them. He stared where the sound had come from, realising that it came from his window. Behind the foggy glass, Butters saw a person in an orange jacket wave at him happily. 

 

“Kenny?!” Butters yelled, even if Kenny probably couldn’t hear him. He kicked the covers off of him, and got up. He went over to the window, realised he forgot to pull down the curtains last night, and opened the window, staring at Kenny’s grinning face.

 

“Mornin’ beautiful.” Kenny said with a smile. Butters stared at him with wide eyes. “Kenny, what are you doing here? You scared me to death!” 

 

The orange-dressed boy chuckled and did finger guns. “I thought I’d follow you to school, but no one let me through the front door, so I had no choice but to climb up here and knock on your window. Good thing your house is so small.” 

 

“Holy shit, of course no one let you in through the front door, it’s half past six in the morning! You’re really lucky my parents aren’t home.” Butters said while shaking his head at Kenny’s craziness and grabbed Kenny’s hands to pull him inside. With some effort, Kenny managed to get in without falling on his face or destroy anything. He landed on the floor and brushed some snow from his jacket. 

 

“Well, I apologize for scaring you, and completely forgetting about your crazy parents, but for what it’s worth, I woke up extra early to get here on time. You’re welcome.” Kenny said and put his hands in his pockets. Suddenly Butters realised that Kenny was actually here.

 

_ Holy cow, Kenny is in my room. He’s never been here before.  _

 

“Well, uh, thanks. I didn’t mean to sound mad, sorry. I’m just not used to people knocking on my window.” Butters said while fiddling nervously with his fingers. “Eh, don’t be. I could have called or something. I’m not really used to knocking on someone’s window either.” Kenny said and winked at Butters with a smirk. The shorter boy felt his face heating up a little from nervousness, and gave an awkward nod back. Suddenly, he realised that he was just wearing pajamas still.

 

“Uh, I should probably get dressed. And stuff.” He said while picking up some clothes from the floor. “Yeah, take your time. I’m in no rush. I brought you breakfast too!” The orange dressed boy said happily. Butters stopped grabbing clothes from his closet for a second and stared at Kenny. 

 

_ When was the last time he did something for me? _

 

“That’s... that’s awesome, thank you. You can wait here, I’ll be back in a second.” He said quickly before opening the door and rushing out. HE could hear Kenny yell “No rush!” behind him.

 

He went straight to the bathroom where he pulled his t-shirt over his head and put on a shirt with the words  _ NO FUN.  _ A thousand thoughts floated around in his head while he pulled the rest of his pajamas off. 

 

Kenny was in his room?  _ Kenny was in his room? _

 

He had literally gone from not speaking a word to him, to climbing through his window to walk him to school. Is that even normal? Like, do people even do that? Well, except for Stan and Kyle of course, but they didn’t count. Kenny had never done it before, not even when they were friends all those years ago. 

 

_ Are we friends now? Again? Is it that easy to become friends again? _

 

The blond boy tried to not give it too much thought, looked in the mirror and tried combing his hair with his fingers to make it look better. He made a mental note to wash it this evening. Then he grabbed his toothbrush and aggressively wet it under the faucet. Even if Kenny had told him that they were in no rush, Butters didn’t want to make him wait. What if this was his only chance of becoming friends with Kenny again? He couldn’t let him get bored of him already. 

 

Before he knew it, Butters was ready to leave the house. He eyed himself up and down in the mirror. He looked… fine. Nothing special, just a boring t-shirt and yesterday’s jeans. The short boy shrugged and unlocked the door, heading back to his bedroom. He opened the door to his bedroom so quickly, Kenny, who sat on the bed waiting for Butters, winced.

 

“Jay-sus, Butters. Do you always open doors that aggressively?” He asked, putting a hand on his chest, as to calm his breathing down. Butters chuckled a little. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” 

 

Kenny chuckled. “Nah, I’m messing with ya. You ready to go?” He said while pointing at the window with his thumbs. Butters just laughed. 

 

“I’m not climbing down there, we’re leaving through the front door.” 

 

The tall boy shrugged and went up to Butters’s door to open it for him like a butler. “After you.” he said. Butters shook his head and grabbed his backpack on the way out.

 

\----------

 

It was snowing heavily outside again, which explained all the snow Kenny had had on his jacket. The pair walked down the slippery street, burying their hands deep down their pockets to keep them warm. They didn’t say much to one another. Butters was a bit unsure of what to do. Were they supposed to talk about school? Maybe that’s was a safe card. Butters decided to roll with that. 

 

“So, uh, have you done the essay? The history essay?” He asked. Kenny shrug and kicked some snow on the sidewalk. “Sort of. I’m almost done.” 

 

Then there were a moment of silence before Kenny licked his lips and turned to Butters. “Hey. Did you have a nightmare before? You looked so stressed when you woke up. You don’t have to tell me about it, but I’m just… curious.” The orange dresses boy asked carefully. Butters hesitated for a few seconds before answering. “Uh, yeah. Sort of, but it’s no big deal. It’s fine.” Butters said while looking up at Kenny. Kenny didn’t seem convinced.

 

“So they’re not like… frequent? Your nightmares?” 

 

“No… I get them when I’m like… stressed and shit. Not often.”

 

“Oh, ‘kay. Just thought I should ask, you seemed distracted.”

 

Butters nodded a quick nod. The two boys walked in silence for a while, before Kenny suddenly gasped and grabbed his backpack. He opened it and pulled out a sandwich with plastic wrapper. “ _ How  _ could I forget the most important meal of the day? Here you go!” 

 

He handed the sandwich to Butters, who took it while chuckling at Kenny’s dramatic show. He unwrapped the wrapper and took a bite. 

 

”It’s just cheese, didn’t really have anything at home.” Kenny said while taking a bite of his own sandwich. Butters shook his head and smiled at him. ”No, this is great! Thank you for making the effort.” 

 

“Huh, you’re welcome.” Kenny said surprised. 

 

“By the way…” butters asked while wiping a few crumbs off his hands. “... how’s it going? At home and stuff? Are things going well?” 

 

Kenny coughed a little in his hand, as if to buy himself time to think, before answering Butters’s question. “Uh, things are fine. I’m great, how’s your life?” He asked a little too quickly. Butters raised an eyebrow, but answered the question casually. “Eh, it’s fine. Y’know, school is fine, home is fine. Mental health’s fine. How’s Karen and Kevin?” 

 

Kenny seemed to get more nervous and nervous for every question Butters asked. He swallowed hard. “Uh, they’re okay. Kevin moved out last year. But, have you finished the essay yet?”

 

“Is everything alright, Kenny?” Butters asked worryingly. “You seem stressed.” 

 

It really felt like Kenny was avoiding Butters’s questions, but Butters didn’t know why. He knew a lot about Kenny, so there wasn’t really anything for him to hide. 

 

“Everything’s fine, I’m just a little, eh, distracted.” The taller boy said distantly. Butters decided to believe him, or at least he tried to. The tone of Kenny’s voice wasn’t very convincing. But he let it go and started walking a bit slower to have more time to talk before they got to talk. It had been a while since Butters had a proper conversation with a friend. Speaking of friends, the shorter boy wanted to know where he and Kenny stood now, but he didn’t have enough courage to ask. So he decided to ask a safer question. 

 

“Hey, Kenny? Why did you want to walk me to school? You did go through a lot of trouble to say the least.” 

 

Kenny cleared his voice, as if to buy himself time. “Uh, to be honest, I felt bad. We haven’t spoken in years, and I felt guilty for just “disappearing” Kenny said while making quotation marks with his fingers. “I wanted to make it up for you, and maybe become friends again?” He said hopefully while looking down at Butters smiling. Butters smiled back and gave Kenny a friendly pat on the shoulder. “Well, I appreciate it. Thank you.” 

 

Before Butters could ask Kenny anything else, they had arrived at the school. They crossed the road to get to the other side, when Kenny slipped on an icy spot on the road on the way. Butters quickly grabbed his arm to keep him from falling, and held him up to make sure that he wouldn’t slip again. Kenny mumbled a thank you, and patted Butters on the shoulder. Then they went up the stairs that led to the school building, and walked inside.

 

“It’s better to be here when the doors are actually unlocked.” Butters said jokingly. Kenny laughed half-heartedly and looked away in the distant corridor. Butters stared at him for a few seconds. 

 

“Are you okay?” He asked. 

 

Kenny waved it away with his hand. “Yeah, yeah… hey you wanna eat lunch together? I gotta get to English class.” 

 

Butters nodded, a bit confused, and watched Kenny walk down the hallway. He stood there watching him disappear into a classroom, finding it strange that he didn’t leave his things in his locker, before he walked over to his own locker. He opened it and scanned the door with a mirror and pictures. Some of them were pictures of him and Kenny. 

 

“Maybe…” he mumbled to himself, before grabbing his books and closing the locker. Butters walked down the corridor, thinking about how lunch with Kenny would be.

 

Yeah, this would probably be a great day.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a chapter that I split in half, the next one will hopefully come this week. Hope you liked it!


	4. Lunch Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Does Kenny trust Butters? Because Butters has a feeling that he maybe doesn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, but enjoy!

“Leopold, are you paying attention?

 

Butters snapped his head up, widening his eyes to show that he was maybe definitely listening to the teacher. His math teacher was the only person he knew that called him by his real name, and when he did, it made Butters feel some guilt, for some weird reason.

 

“Uh- yes Mr. Smith!” the blonde boy said. Mr. Smith looked suspiciously at Butters and crossed his arms.

 

“What does x stand for in this equation, Leopold?” 

 

Butters looked at the white board with the equation, putting his brain to work. He stared intensely at the board, solving the equation as quickly as he could in his head. 

 

“Uh, it should be - uh - the answer should be nine, Mr. Smith.”

 

Mr. Smith nodded. “Correct. But please pay attention.” 

 

“Yes, Mr. Smith.” Butters said sheepishly, before returning to his notebook filled with equations and doodles. The 17-year old boy had a tendency to doodle a bit too much when he was in class. He couldn’t help it, doodling was so therapeutic. He loved drawing little octopuses and monsters all over his notes, but it didn’t really help him in school. He tried to pay more attention in his classes, but the doodling was distracting. It was pretty bad. 

 

_ *school bell rings* _

 

_ Saved by the bell.  _ Butters thought while collecting his notes and grabbing his bag. 

 

“Remember the math homework for next week!” Mr. Smith yelled to all the students, before they shuffled out of the classroom. Butters had put the last notes in his bag, and was just getting out of the classroom, when he remembered something.

 

“Oh, Mr. Smith?”

 

Mr. Smith, as the students called him, turned around from the board to face Butters. He raised his eyebrows, waiting for Butters to continue.

 

“Uh, here’s the homework from last week.” Butters said while pulling up a bunch of papers from his bag and handed them to the teacher. He looked confused at the papers.

 

“This is the homework that you guys are supposed to hand in tomorrow.” he said while eyeing through the papers quickly. 

 

“Really?” Butters said while looking at the equations at the board. “Uh, I guess I forgot. Tons of homework and tests, you know.” 

 

Mr. Smith looked up at Butters. He had a look on his face like he didn’t quite know what to do with the boy before him. “Mr. Stotch, you are excellent at math, and I can already say that you’re gonna score an A this term. That you’re even capable of handing in your homework a day early is a sign of ambition. Or confusion.” He said while chuckling a little. Butters smiled hesitantly back. “Why, thank you, Mr. Smith.” 

 

“But lately you’ve been… I don’t know, but you’ve been rather distracted. It’s none of my business, but if there’s anything bringing you down, I would like you to speak to someone about it. Okay?” Mr. Smith said with a firm, but well-meaning, tone. Butters nodded. 

 

“Of course, Mr. Smith.” 

 

Mr. Smith smirked and leaned forward a little so that no one passing by in the corridor would be able to hear. “Between just me and you, Leopold, call me James.”

 

Butters smiled and gave a quick nod. James patted him on the shoulder before returning to his desk. Butters spun around on his heels and went outside in the corridor. He had some thoughts swirling around in his head as he walked against the cafeteria. He re-adjusted a strap on his backpack. Had Mr. Smith seen him and Kenny together? Perhaps he had noticed that he and Kenny arrived at school together that morning. It was well known amongst students, but also teachers, that Butters did not have a lot of friends. Perhaps Mr. Smith was worried that Butters was distracted because of worries regarding his new friendship with Kenny. Or... if it even was friendship, Leopold still wasn’t sure. 

 

Kenny had seemed so distracted that morning. Maybe he was thinking about how he regrets trying to become friends with Butters again. Or maybe he was thinking about homework or something. Or even college applications, it was time to start thinking about those things. Butters had looked up a few colleges not too far away from South Park, but still far away enough to not have his parents tugging on his sleeve. 

 

Butters arrived at the cafeteria, and stopped to look awkwardly around him. When did Kenny even finish class? They hadn’t talked about that. Butters usually ate lunch alone in some corner while drawing or playing some game on his phone, so he wasn’t used to having to find friends to sit with. He scanned the room after someone with orange clothes, and noticed a boy with messy blonde hair and an orange jacket sitting at a table at the other end of the room. 

 

“Hey, Kenny!”

 

Butters walked rather quickly against the tall boy at the other end of the room, who looked up from his phone when he heard his name be called. When he saw Butters, his eyes lit up and he smiled and waved at him to come over to him. Kenny gave him a friendly hit on the shoulder.

 

“Hey, man. What took you so long?”

Butters sat down at the opposite side of the table, took off his backpack, and feeling a bit nervous for some reason. “Class. When did you quit?” 

 

“For like, fifteen minutes ago. How long are your classes?” Kenny chuckled. “Eh, pretty long I guess. Math, you know.” 

 

“Uh-huh. You good at math?” 

 

The shorter boy shrugged. “Eh, I’m decent. I don’t find it very hard, but it’s not very fun, you know?” 

 

“I actually like math, but I still get you.”

 

Kenny bent down, and went out of Butters’s eyesight. When he sat up straight again, he had an orange plastic box in his hand. Butters suddenly remembered that they were here to eat lunch, and he bent down to grab his blue lunchbox as well. When he sat up again, he noticed that Kenny had put down his box and was fiddling with a spoon while staring at Butters, and his movements. “What?” he asked. Kenny shook his head and went back to fiddling with his lunchbox. 

 

“Nothing, nothing. You just distracted me.” he said quietly. Butters smirked and pretended to do a hair flip.

 

“With my gorgeous face?” 

 

“Exactly.” Kenny said giggling. Butters felt a bit warm inside from Kenny’s giggles. He loved making people laugh. “What have you got for lunch?” he asked happily.

 

And then the conversation just kept going naturally. The two blonde boys chatted excitedly with each other, and talked about all sorts of things. Butters had been worried that they would just sit in awkward silence the whole time, but he had forgotten what a good conversation starter Kenny was. And not speaking to each other for years gives you a lot to catch up on and talk about. Apparently, Kenny had stayed friends with Stan and Kyle over the years, but didn’t have a lot of friends in general, just like Butters.

 

“So, wait, what happened with Eric? You’re not friends anymore?”

 

Kenny looked up from his turkey sandwich and stared at Butters.

 

“Cartman? Dude, I was never friends with Cartman. I just hanged out with him because Stan and Kyle did.” 

 

“When did you guys even meet? Feels like you’ve been friends since the beginning of time.” Butters said while taking a sip of his milk.

 

“Yeah, that’s sort of true. Our moms were friends when they were pregnant, so I guess that’s when we first met.” Kenny said and chuckled. “Uh-huh. But wait, when did you and I meet?” 

 

Kenny stared at Butters with surprised, wide eyes. “In kindergarten, dude. We were like, three.” he said confusedly. 

 

“We… we did? I don’t remember that.”

 

“ _ How  _ can you not remember that? I had spilled juice all over my shirt, and you gave me a spare shirt you always had with you.”

 

Butters stared at his hands that were resting on the table. He really had no memory of his and Kenny’s first meeting. The shorter male felt a bit embarrassed, since Kenny remembered it perfectly. 

 

“Now that you mention it, I do remember a strong smell of orange juice when we first met.” Butters said. That actually wasn’t a complete lie, Butters had some sort of memory including orange juice smell. Kenny laughed.

 

“Yeah, those were good times. You done?” 

 

Butters nodded, and the two blonde boys stood up and collected all their things, with silence in the air. After putting the box back in his backpack, Butters swung it over his shoulder. “What class do you have now?” 

 

“Fuck. Biology. Kenny said groaning. Butters giggled. “What, is it that bad?” 

 

Kenny nodded, and made a disgusted expression on his face. “Worst subject.”

 

And then the two young men stood in the corridor. Butters could barely remember how they got there, because he had been so lost in his thoughts on the way out. Suddenly Kenny was waving his hand right in front of the shorter boy’s face. “Butters!  _ Helloooo? _ ” 

 

“Oh gosh, sorry. Just thinking. Were you saying something?” 

 

“Yeah, I was saying that you can always sit with me at lunch. I’ve seen you sit alone a lot, and I just thought… yeah, you’re always welcome.”

 

Butters smiled brightly and hit Kenny friendly on the shoulder. “Thanks, Ken. I appreciate it.”

 

“Ken.” Kenny repeated. “I like that.” 

 

Then there were a few seconds of silence before Butters got an idea. “Hey! Why don’t I walk you home after school?”

 

But he didn’t get the reaction he thought he would get from Kenny. The orange clad boy suddenly looked a little scared. “Oh, sorry, today’s - uhm - today’s not a good… time.” 

 

“That’s… fine, Ken, don’t look so scared.” Butters said jokingly. Kenny was suddenly looking away in the distance again. He looked like he wanted to be anywhere but with Butters right now.

 

“Well, uh, I’ll see you around?” 

 

“Yeah, sure.” 

 

And then Kenny just walked down the corridor, against a classroom, Butters assumed. He followed him with his eyes, until he couldn’t see him anymore. Something that didn’t go away along with Kenny was a nagging feeling that Kenny for some reason didn’t trust Butters. It made Butters feel a bit sick to his stomach. The thought of being left alone again, was horrifying. 

 

“This is so fucking weird…” Butters mumbled to himself before walking in the other direction, again getting lost in his own thoughts.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yesh, I don't like this chapter. I hope you like it tho! Tell me what you thought in the comments!
> 
> Kudos are appreciated, and they encourage me to keep writing!
> 
> Hope you like the story so far! /TheLilNugget


	5. Pencils

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> School bathrooms and pencils that stain your hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!
> 
> (The reason the chapters are late, is because I rarely have time to write, please don't expect too much)

_ I hate thursdays. _

 

Butters rested his head in his hands, letting out deep sighs that sounded rather depressing. He was sitting at his usual spot, at the table by some lockers, overthinking his morning. He had turned in his history essay, and was now over analyzing what he had written. 

 

It wasn’t good enough, wasn’t it? 

 

The blonde boy let out another depressing sigh, feeling the hot air from his mouth on his arms, and also a familiar sick feeling in his stomach. But he didn’t have time to think about the bloody anxiety right now. He had more important things to do. More specifically, he was obsessed with Kenny. Not obsessed as in he needed to breathe the same air as Kenny at all times, but obsessed as in he couldn’t get the way Kenny had acted yesterday out of his head. It might sound like Butters didn’t have anything else interesting in his life if that bothered him so much, but now when someone had voluntarily tried to become friends with him, it felt too important to make sure that person was okay. 

 

Butters had the night before tried to text Kenny, since he still had his number in his phone, but he got no answer. It was like Kenny had disappeared completely. Butters hadn’t seen him at school all day, and he was now waiting to see if he could catch someone from Kenny’s class. He looked up from his hands, looking down the corridor. There were loads of students, but no one Butters recognised from Kenny’s class. But then he suddenly felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned his head so quickly his neck hurt. A girl with short brown hair, who had tapped him on the shoulder, winced when he did so. Butters recognised her. “Oh, hi Heidi. Sorry I scared you.” 

 

Heidi chuckled and hugged a book to her chest. “It’s fine, Butters. I just saw you drop this.” She reached over the table and laid a pen on the table in front of Butters. “Oh, thank you.” 

 

“No problem.” Heidi smiled and turned around to leave, when Butters suddenly remembered something. “Wait! Heidi!”

 

He jumped down from his chair the same time as Heidi spun around. She had a very friendly face, Butters noted. 

 

“You’re in Kenny’s math class, right?”

 

“Uh, yeah, I am. Why?” 

 

Butters put his hands in his pockets, trying not to seem worried. “I just… have you seen him today? I can’t find him.” 

 

Heidi stayed silent for a few seconds, thinking about who she had seen that day. “Uh, no. I don’t think I have, actually. Maybe he’s home sick?” 

 

The blonde boy nodded disappointedly. “Okay. Well, thanks.” 

 

“No problem. See ya.” 

 

Butters watched Heidi’s new pixie cut from behind for a few seconds before returning to his table. He couldn’t help but wonder if Kenny was avoiding him again. If he had realised why he had stopped being Butters’s friend in the first place. They had talked a lot in the past few days, getting to know each other again. Maybe Kenny had realised that Butters wasn’t a person he wanted to be friends with. 

 

The blonde boy let out a deep sigh and gathered his things. He put his notebook in his backpack, and noticed that his hands were covered in pencil. He tried to not get his things all dirty, and grabbed the backpack strap gently, as if he had just painted his nails, and swung it over his shoulder. 

 

The blue eyed boy located the nearest bathroom, and went inside to wash his hands. The bathrooms at South Park high were your typical high school bathrooms. The tiles were a gross shade of green, the mirrors were dirty, and someone had written something unreadable on one of them. The sinks’ cleanliness were... questionable. Everything about the bathrooms were questionable, but Butters didn’t exactly have a choice but to use them. The girls’ bathroom was probably cleaner, but he couldn’t exactly go in there, so…

 

Butters pulled up his sleeves and looked at himself in the mirror. 

 

What was it he saw, really? There was nothing special about his appearance. He was pale, had blonde hair, shaved at the sides and just plain blue eyes. 

 

“Gay.” Butters muttered and looked down at his hands that he had washed while criticising his face. This is as clean as they’ll get, Butters thought and looked up again.

 

_ Am I that unlikeable? Is there really nothing about me that someone could like? Has anyone ever enjoyed my company? Why did everyone else get the good looks and personalities, and I got this? This shit? Why the hell am I even- _

 

Butter’s thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a stall door opening. The blonde boy winced at the sudden noise and turned around, to look Kyle Broflovski directly in the eyes. Kyle stared surprised at Butters.

 

“Oh sorry, dude, did I scare you?” he asked and chuckled. 

 

“Oh, no, no, it’s fine. I’m just a bit jumpy today.” 

 

Then the only sound in the room was the sound of water running as Kyle washed his hands. Butters felt a bit awkward. He and Kyle had never really been friends. They had spoken a few times, and went through some weird shit together when they were younger, but other than that they hadn’t really interacted with each other. 

“This might sound weird, since you and I haven’t interacted with each other in years, but I’ve seen that you and Kenny have been hanging out lately. As his friend, I know these things, so don’t think that I’m stalking you.” Kyle said without looking at Butters. Butters just stared at Kyle for a few seconds. He had forgotten how classy Kyle could be.

 

“Uh- yeah. We have, I guess.”

 

“I just wanted to give you a heads up about Kenny.”

 

Butters swallowed awkwardly. Was Kyle going to tell him that Kenny didn’t actually like Butters, and just hanged out with him because he pitied him?

 

“I’m… not sure if I should tell you this but… Kenny has been acting strange lately. He’s not answering texts, or calls, and when I do speak to him, he looks off in the distance as if he’s…  looking at something? Basically, he’s acting weird as fuck.” Kyle said, and finally looked at Butters. “And I’m not sure what to do about it. Maybe he hasn’t acted that way with you, but I feel like there’s something bothering him. He won’t talk to me. I’ve tried.”

 

Kyle sighed and rubbed a spot on his forehead as if he had a headache. “I’m not trying to scare you away from him. It’s lovely that you’re becoming friends again. Just know that it’s not your fault if he acts weird.” he said. Butters nodded while leaning against the sink behind him. 

 

“Could you just do me a favour?”

 

“Yeah, of course.”

 

“Could you… I don’t know, try to find out what he’s being weird about? It’s less weird if you ask him, than if I do. You’re less investigator-ish than me. You don’t have to follow him or anything, but like… try to talk to him about it. You probably won’t succeed, since he’s very secretive, but you’re most likely to succeed.” 

 

Butters shrugged. “I guess I could try.” 

 

Kyle walked towards the exit and patted Butters friendly on the shoulder on the way. “Thanks, I appreciate it. You have amazing hair, by the way.” Kyle said encouragingly to the shorter boy in front of him, and left the bathroom. Butters stared at the door in front of him. 

 

At least now he knew that he wasn’t the reason Kenny had been acting weird, but Kyle’s words had also made him more worried about Kenny. The blood stains he had seen on Kenny’s jacket a while ago popped up in his head again. The sight of those shiny, dark red stains were easy to imagine. 

 

But Butters could still feel some form of determination. Knowing that Kenny did indeed have something on his mind, and that he wasn’t the only one that had noticed it, made him feel determined. 

 

Kenny would not regret becoming friends with Butters again. Never. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I rarely have time to write, and I don't always have the inspiration, so the chapters might be late. This chapter isn't very good, but hopefully the next one will be better. 
> 
> Hope you're enjoying the story so far!


	6. Blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So give them blood. Blood. Gallons of the stuff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (did you get the mcr reference?)
> 
> Okay... so this chapter might be a bit... gory. If you don't like blood or injuries, maybe skip this chapter. I actually don't recommend reading this fic if you don't like those things.

“Watch out!”

 

Butters quickly jumped aside, to avoid the guy on a motorcycle who yelled at him. The short boy watched the guy go past him, feeling his heart beating hard from the sudden shock. 

 

_ Asshole. Hope he’s just having a bad day. _

 

Butters shook his head and kept walking down the street. He dug his hands deeper in his pockets, and let out a breath, that formed a small cloud in the cold air. 

 

It was a very cold Saturday morning. He had woken up extremely early again, but this time felt different. He had had trouble falling asleep, because of Kenny, not his sleeping problems. That boy had been on his mind constantly since the day before, when he met Kyle in the bathroom. He had stayed up thinking about all the possible things that could have happened to Kenny that could make him act so weird. 

 

Butters knew that it was Kenny’s business, but he couldn’t help but worry. That’s why he was in this moment on his way to Kenny’s house. There were a million ways to spend one’s Saturday, but Butters couldn’t think of a better way than spending it with Kenny. That sounded very sappy, but it was true. The short boy didn’t really want to do anything else than be with Kenny lately. You could say that he had a small obsession with the boy with the orange jacket. A healthy obsession, of course, but he still couldn’t really think about anything else. There was something about Kenny, that was a bit… irresistible. Anyone who’s met Kenny could confirm this. The teenage boy had something that no one else really had, which made him a lot more interesting. 

 

Kenny had always been a bit of a mystery. No one really knew what his plans for the future were, not even his best friends. He rarely talked about himself, and seemed to always prefer to be alone. Everyone knew that Kenny had had a rough childhood, so they always avoided that subject when talking to him. Kenny never mentioned it, so it was safe to assume that he actually didn’t want to talk about it at all. But what was weird was that no one ever saw him by his house. When they all were younger, you could always spot Kenny outside his house, because he preferred to be outside, which wasn’t strange, considering his house was a dump. But lately he wasn’t anywhere to be seen. Of course, people saw him at school, but rarely anywhere else. 

 

But then again, no one really cared. It was Kenny’s life, and no one wanted to get on Kenny’s bad side by being too nosy. 

 

When Butters arrived at Kenny’s house, it had started to snow heavily. He had forgotten his gloves, and tried to warm his hands up by blowing warm air on them and rubbing them against each other. The blonde boy looked at the house for a moment. 

 

Kenny’s house looked like it always had looked. It was a pretty small house, if you could even call it a house. Butters had been there once or twice, but Kenny had always preferred to hang out somewhere else. And honestly, who could blame him? If Butters had had a house like that, he probably wouldn’t want to be there with his friends either. 

 

The short boy walked up to the front door and stared at it. He really didn’t want to knock. He hated knocking on people’s front doors, he always felt so awkward and weird. But then again, Kenny’s parents probably already knew that he was weird. With a deep breath, Butters raised his hands and knocked three times on the door. When he did so, he could hear the door creak. 

 

After just a few seconds, a tall woman with short red hair and a black tank top opened the door. She looked down at Butters and smiled sadly at him. Butters had always thought that Kenny looked a lot like his mom. They both had some freckles and that same friendly expression that could melt any cold heart. At least Butters thought so. 

 

“Hi there, Leopold” she said with her raspy voice. “What’s up?”

 

“Oh, hi mrs. McCormick.” Butters said as politely as he could, but Kenny’s mom shook her head. “I’m no longer a married woman, hun. Kenny hasn’t told you?” 

 

Butters stared surprised at her. Kenny had never mentioned his parents divorce. But then again, a week ago they weren’t even talking to each other. 

 

“Uh- no, Kenny hasn’t mentioned it.” he said shyly. Ms McCormick, or Carol, shrugged and pulled up a cigarette from her pocket. “Don’t worry ‘bout it, Kenny has always been a reserved boy. It’s not ‘cause he doesn’t trust you, it was a while ago too. But enough about that, what do you want?”

 

“Uhm, I was just wondering if Kenny’s here? I haven’t seen him in school.” 

 

Kenny’s mom’s happy expression suddenly turned blank. She dropped the lighter in her hand, and the flame died. She immediately bent down to pick it up, and Butters noticed that her hands were shaking. She swallowed before standing up. 

 

“Kenny’s not here. He’s… not home.” 

 

“Oh. Nothing has happened, right?” Butters asked worryingly. Ms McCormick looked away in the distance with the same look on her face that Kenny had had the last few days. “I hope to God not.” 

 

While Butters found that answer a bit worrying, he chose to ignore it. “Oh, okay. Do you know when he’ll be back?”  

 

“Probably never.” 

 

Carol had a strange look on her face. She looked like she could throw up at any moment. Butters winced a bit at the cold tone of her voice.

 

“Uh… I’m sorry, but what do you mean? Kenny isn’t coming back…?” He asked carefully.

 

“You should go. Go look in town for Kenny or something.”

 

“I’m sorry if I upset you, I just-“

 

“You did nothing wrong, Leopold.” Carol said reassuringly, but distantly. “It’s not your fault. But please go.”

 

And then she closed the door, leaving Butters on the doorstep. The blonde boy stared confused at the door for a few seconds. 

 

Kenny didn’t live there anymore?

 

Butters turned around and started to walk towards town, like ms McCormick had advised him to. A million thoughts flew through his head. He had never considered that Kenny would move away from home at such and early age. Kenny’s family was really poor, so where would he get the money? Of course, maybe he worked some part-time jobs or something, but shouldn’t Kenny have mentioned that when they were getting to know each other back in the cafeteria? They had talked about all sorts of things that day, but Kenny had not even hinted about having his own place. 

 

Was it even normal to have moved away from home in high school? Wasn’t that something people did after graduating college? 

 

Butters stared at the street before him as he walked, and didn’t pay much attention to his surroundings. He didn’t look up until he arrived at a street leading to the centre of the town. The blonde boy looked up, and stopped in his tracks. He wasn’t sure where he was actually going. He wasn’t even sure why he was even going anywhere. Why did he even want to find Kenny? Kenny probably didn’t want people to investigate his life. Maybe he should just go home after al-

 

_ Ken. _

 

Butters couldn’t believe he hadn’t seen him immediately. That orange parka was pretty hard to miss. The tall teenage boy was standing on the other side of the street, staring at something. Butters looked in the same direction Kenny did, but he couldn’t see anything interesting. 

 

Kenny had his orange jacket on, with his hood up. He had a black backpack on, and was turned away from Butters, so he couldn’t see his face. 

 

“Ken!” Butters yelled rather loudly, so that Kenny could have a chance to hear him. He didn’t react. Butters tried yelling again.

 

After probably a minute of Butters standing in the same spot and staring at Kenny on the other side of the road, the taller boy turned around and stared directly at Butters. His face wasn’t covered like it used to be when they were younger, but he was still so far away, that Butters couldn’t quite see what expression he had. But he didn’t care, he was just happy that Kenny finally was acknowledging his existence. He smiled brightly and waved.

 

“Hey!”

 

But Kenny didn’t smile or wave back.

 

He looked terrified. 

 

Even if he was on the other side of the street, Butters could still see that he had a look of pure fear on his face. The shorter boy stopped smiling and lowered his hand. He slowly shook his head, and knew that he had a questioning look on his face. 

 

Kenny’s breath formed small puffs of smoke in the cold air, and he kept staring at Butters. Butters started to feel quite scared.

 

“Kenny, what’s going on?” he yelled. 

 

Kenny didn’t answer. In the corner of his eyes, the blonde, shorter boy could see a car driving towards them at a high speed. Kenny waved to get Butter’s attention back, and raised his hand slowly against his mouth. He put a finger to his lips, signaling Butters to be quiet. Then he mouthed something, that Butters couldn’t quite read, but it looked like…

 

_ Remember. _

 

A few seconds after, the car coming at them at full speed, slipped on the icy road, and crashed into Kenny. 

 

And the last thing Butters saw was blood. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, and thanks for all the positive feedback! Please keep in mind that english isn't my native language, so if you find any grammar mistakes, let me know.
> 
> Please leave a comment or kudos! Thanks!


	7. Memory Loss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well they encourage your complete cooperation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy this new chapter!

Butters woke up with a sharp inhale that stung in his lungs. His entire body was covered in sweat, his hair sticking to his forehead. He breathed heavily, and breathing in was more difficult than usual. It felt like something in his throat was blocking the air from getting down to his lungs. 

 

The blonde boy couldn’t do anything but stare at the ceiling, since he was afraid of moving, and making his condition worse. After looking at it for a few seconds, he was sure that it was his own ceiling, in his own room. He was at home, in his own bed.

 

_ How the fuck did I get here? I don’t remember coming home last night.  _

 

After lying like that for a minute or something, Butters tried to move carefully. He stretched out his fingers and legs, and it didn’t feel like anything was broken, since nothing hurt too bad. He did feel a bit stiff in his arms, legs and neck, but nothing serious.

 

Butters sat up, and looked around in the room. Everything looked like normal, and perfectly fine. His lego was on the shelf, his writing desk with his laptop was tidy as usual and the covers were blue like they always were.

 

Suddenly, he thought he heard a noise coming from downstairs.

 

“Who’s there?” he yelled worriedly. But no one responded. He seemed to be alone in the house. His parents shouldn’t be back yet, so it couldn’t be them.

 

“Probably nothing…” Butters mumbled to himself before getting out of his bed and blinking a few times to get his eyes to adjust to the light. He checked the time on his phone.

 

_ 07:36  _

 

It also said that it was Sunday, which was reasonable. Butters could remember that last day was Saturday. But he couldn’t remember for his life what he had done last night.

 

_ Okay, okay, let’s go through this.  _

 

The blonde boy could remember leaving his house to go somewhere. He remembered cold weather and that he was going to visit Kenny. Right! Kenny was the person he was going to visit. Then he could remember meeting Kenny’s mom. But… he couldn’t remember ever meeting Kenny. Kenny’s mom had told him that Kenny wasn’t home, he could recall that. But after that, it was blank. Had he gone home? He must have, where else would he go? Maybe he decided to look for Kenny elsewhere? But… how…

 

“I must have fallen asleep as soon as I got home…” Butters mumbled to himself, almost trying to convince himself the fact. He rubbed his eyes before pushing down the door handle and leaving the room. 

 

The house looked like it always did. The walls were the same colour, the things were all in their places everything seemed like normal. But why wouldn’t they be, Butters thought. 

 

He entered the bathroom while yawning and stretching out his arms over his head. While scratching his neck, he went up to the mirror with the intention to brush his teeth. He looked up at himself in the mirror.

 

His heart sank.

 

His eyes widened.

 

There was a huge red stain on Butter’s shirt. And it wasn’t hard to identify what it was. 

 

There was a huge blood stain on Butter’s shirt.

 

_ Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck… _

 

Those were the words that went through Butter’s head at the speed of a racing car. What in the actual  _ fuck  _ had happened to him? He felt like screaming. Stepping closer to the mirror, he took a closer look at it. His shaking hand moved towards it to touch it lightly. It was still wet, his finger got stained with the red liquid. 

 

It was getting harder to breathe, so Butters sat down on the wet bathroom floor. He shook like a psycho. He looked like a psycho for that matter. Waves of anxiety hit him like a bus. What the hell had he done? Whose fucking blood was it? It couldn’t be his, if he had lost that much blood he would be dead. 

 

If anyone had lost that much blood, they would be dead.

 

Butters thread his finger through his hair and pulled it. Curses were still going through his brain. But wait… maybe he was just hallucinating? What if there actually wasn’t any blood on his shirt, he was just seeing things because something obviously had happened to him last night? The blonde boy took a few shaky breaths before attempting to stand up. It went okay. He turned to the mirror again.

 

The blood was still there. It was definitely not a hallucination. 

 

Disgusted, Butters pulled the shirt over his head and threw it away from him. Hugging his naked chest and with a terrified expression on his face, he stared at it, where it lied in a corner. What was he going to do? Should he call the police? No, they wouldn’t believe him if he said that he had woken up with a bloody shirt with no memory of yesterday’s events. No one would believe him.

 

So what should he do then? He couldn’t call his parents, but he couldn’t call a friend either. No one could possibly believe him anyways. Maybe the best thing to do was just to try to clean the shirt and forget it ever happened. 

 

“But what fucking happened…” Butters kept mumbling to himself while slowly tip toeing over to the shirt and picking it up with his index finger and thumb, trying to avoid touching the blood. He had just grabbed it when the doorbell suddenly rang.

 

Butters jumped from fear and dropped the shirt. His breathing sped up and he snapped his head in the direction of the noise. 

 

_ Who the hell could that be at this time? _

 

The blonde boy dropped the shirt again and slowly walked out in the hallway. He closed the door behind him carefully and half-ran down the stairs to the door. Butter’s heart was beating fast from all the confusion and sudden jumpscares. He bent down and looked through the peaking hole in the door. An orange jacket and blonde hair.

 

_ Just Kenny. _

 

Feeling relieved, Butters stood up, unlocked the door and opened the door. A wall of cold air hit his bare torso and face like a wall. He blinked a few times against the bright light and then made eye contact with a friendly face.

 

“Hi, Kenny.” The shorter boy said, trying to smile, but he was freezing his ass off. The boy with freckles in front of Butters, smiled at him friendly. “Hey, Butters. Nice outfit.” Kenny said with a wink. Butters looked down on himself quickly and realised that he hadn’t put on a shirt before opening the door. He cursed in his head for forgetting that. “Oh, yeah…” he mumbled awkwardly. Kenny shifted his weight from one foot to the other a few times. “Do you mind if I come in?” he asked. “Oh! Oh yeah, of course! Come in.” the shorter boy said and moving aside so Kenny could walk in. 

 

“Thanks, man.” Kenny said quietly. He stepped inside into the warm hallway and immediately let out a sigh of relief. It was really cold outside. Closing the door, Butters quickly skipped into the kitchen where he knew he had a shirt lying somewhere. He found a green one hanging on a chair, grabbed it and slipped it on while walking out back to Kenny. “Heh, sorry about that. I just woke up.”

 

The shorter boy stopped talking when he saw Kenny’s expression. He looked really uncomfortable standing there in Butter’s hallway. He turned his head against Butters with an awkward smile on his lips. “Huh, I remembered to knock on your door today at least, and not crawl through your window.” he said with a chuckle. 

 

“Yeah, good job.” Butters said, chuckling a bit too. “Hey, have you had breakfast yet? I was just about to make some for myself.” Butters lied, trying to hide his nervousness about the bloody shirt that was lying in his bathroom. He started heading to the kitchen, but stopped when he turned his head around again and looked back at Kenny. Kenny didn’t look like he wanted to have breakfast at all. He stood there, just staring at Butters. Not intensely, but like he waited for something. His mouth was slightly open, like he wanted to say something. The look on his face was like he was waiting for Butters to say something, or notice something. 

 

“Kenny?” the shorter boy said confused. Kenny suddenly snapped back to reality and shook his head a little. “Oh, sorry. I, uh, actually can’t stay for long. I just… wanted to see how you were doing.” 

 

“Oh.” Butters said, still confused. He crossed his arms over hs chest and leaned against the wall. “I’m good. Hey, I was looking for you yesterday though, where were you?” he said, suddenly remembering.

 

“Oh, I was in town. But I ran into some, uh, complications…” the tall boy answered while looking up in a corner. Butters raised an eyebrow. “Okay... what kind of complications?” 

 

Kenny turned his gaze back to Butters, again with his look of… waiting? Like he expected Butters to do or say something. “Uh… just complications. I think I saw you actually.” 

 

“Really? Why didn’t you say hi?” Butters asked. Kenny stuck his hands in his pockets and looked down. “I did.” he said quietly. 

 

“Wait… you did? Huh, I don’t remember that…” 

 

Then the two boys were silent for a few seconds before Kenny spoke up again. “Do you… remember anything? From last night?” he said with a sad expression on his face, like Butters had disappointed him. Butters stood up straight again and let his hands drop from his chest. “I don’t, actually. How did you know?”

 

Kenny stayed silent and avoided Butter’s eyes.

 

“Do you know anything about last night? Did you see what happened to me?” Butters tried asking again, but Kenny kept avoiding his gaze. He kept staring at the floor.

 

“You’re not surprised to see me, Butters? At all?” the taller boy suddenly said while looking up at Butters with an empty look. 

 

“I… uh... not really. Should I be?” he said carefully, as if he was avoiding scaring Kenny.

 

“You don’t remember anything… like, happening to me?” Kenny almost whispered, so Butters could barely hear it. “Kenny,  _ has _ something happened to you that I should know about? You’re worrying me…” the shorter boy said softly while taking a step towards Kenny. Kenny almost pulled away from Butters and grabbed the door handle. “No. Nothing has happened. Everything is fine.”

 

“Kenny…” 

 

“I have to go.” Kenny said before opening the door and almost slamming it behind him. Butters stared terrified at the thick, wooden door.

 

_ What the fuck… _

 

A part of Butters wanted to go after Kenny, but another part told him not to. Confusion spread through the blonde boy’s head. Had something happened to Kenny that he didn’t remember? How could he have forgotten if something… bad had happened to him? Did it have something to do with his memory loss? 

 

Or worse, did it have something to do with the bloody shirt? 

 

_ The shirt. _

 

Butters turned around and ran, up the stair and reaching the bathroom door. He opened it, not very gently, and scanned the room with his eyes. The shirt was where he left it. He walked up to it, picked it up…

 

_ The blood is gone. _

 

The blue shirt was perfectly clean.

 

Without second thought, the blonde boy ran out of the bathroom, down the stair and almost threw himself out the front door. He ignored the freezing air that surrounded him and the numbing pain in his bare feet, standing in the snow. Without hesitation he yelled out Kenny’s name, looking all around him.

 

But Kenny was gone. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading The One That Got Away! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. The next one should be up in not too long. 
> 
> If you'd like to leave kudos or a comment, please go ahead! It's very motivating.
> 
> Also, what do you think will happen next? Feel free to leave theories!


	8. Literature

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally a new chapter!

_ Jane slid her hand in the pocket. Her heart started beating faster when she noticed that her phone was no longer there. Fear spread through her body. She had forgotten it on the kitchen table. She cursed herself for being so stupid. The footsteps were getting closer. Jane couldn’t breathe and only one thought went through her head. She had to get out. She turned around and started walking against the door. She tried to make as little noise as possible, but the floor creaked anyways. Jane had nothing to lose. She started running against the thick, wooden door and turned the doorknob. Locked. The footsteps were getting even closer and now the man was standing right behind her. Jane started screaming, but to no help. Suddenly a sharp pain went through her lower back and she fell to the floor.   _

 

_ Jane’s body was found two days later. The police had no cl- _

 

Butters kept reading the page, but he realised his thoughts were elsewhere, so he didn’t pick up on anything. He didn’t bother to reread the page. Sighing, he looked up at the clock that hung above the entrance. Class ended in eight minutes. God, he couldn’t take even one more minute of this. English class had been going on forever, and Butters couldn’t wait for it to end. The book they were reading wasn’t exactly a masterpiece and Butters was already sick of it, even though he had only read four chapters. 

 

He looked at the clock again while starting to doodle in his notebook that lied right next to the book he was reading. Seven more minutes. Looking back down on the doodle, the blonde boy cringed at his doodle. A cat. Was there anything more basic one could draw? 

 

The book they were reading was about murder, and even though it didn’t interest Butters, it did make Butters feel something. The subject of murder was… uncomfortable, for some reason. All he could think of while reading the descriptions of murder scenes or bodies, was that damn bloody shirt. The short boy couldn’t stop thinking about that cursed piece of clothing. But Butters had thrown away that shirt now.

 

The short boy looked up at the clock again. Five minutes. He looked back down at the notebook. Rather quickly he started to sketch something a bit more interesting. He drew a line that went upwards into a sort of curved line. The line then went down again. The two lines created a sort of face shape together. Butters took a good look at it. He almost never drew people, he mostly just drew animals or things he came up with. But now he had a face shape on his paper, so he decided to draw someone. The blonde boy looked up and around the classroom. Nothing in the small room could give him any inspiration. Butters looked down in his book again. His eyes landed on the sentence “ _ there was so much blood”.  _ Blood. Butters put his pen back on the paper. He started to draw an eye. The eye was light and it had soft, light eyelashes. Butters moved his hand and started drawing a mouth. The lips were slightly tinted, and looked so very, very soft. Butters smiled a little. He didn’t know why he had started to draw Kenny. Maybe it was because Kenny had been on his mind ever since he had come to visit Butters a few days ago. There was something about Kenny that day. Something that Butters couldn’t quite put his finger on.

 

Of course, Kenny was enchanting. His beauty was unmistakable. Ever since Kenny had stopped hiding his face, more people had started to fall for him. Both boys and girls. There was something about Kenny’s eyes, hair and body in general that was… hypnotising. You could stare at that boy forever, amazed at how a human being could look so fairytale like. He was like a Disney prince or something.

 

Butter’s dreamy thoughts about Kenny were interrupted by the school bell ringing loudly. The blonde boy looked back down in his book. He didn’t get much reading done today. With a sigh he grabbed the bookmark and slid in between the pages before closing the book. He gathered all his pens and papers and shoved it messily inside his bag. He got up and left the classroom hastily, without listening to his professor assigning them homework. 

 

Butters has started to lose focus in school the last few days, because of the weird events. He was damn lucky his parents had decided to head overseas so suddenly. 

 

His parents. Butters didn’t think much about his parents. He didn’t like them, of course, they had traumatised him his entire childhood. But they never spoke to him anymore. No more groundings, no more bullying. They didn’t care anymore.

 

The last few weeks Butters had been living alone, and he loves it. It was amazing to live alone without his horrible parents around to give him anxiety. He was already preparing to make this permanent. He knew that he wanted to get his own place as soon as he turned eighteen, which was going to happen next year. The thought of leaving his parents made Butters smile. It was awful that he felt that way, but it was true. 

 

Butters walked down the hallway towards his locker. His thoughts going all over the place, but mostly focusing on Kenny. Only Kenny. The short boy closed his eyes for a second. Was this really normal? To think about your friend this much? 

 

Butters hadn’t had a real friend in so many years, so maybe it was normal to obsess over the one he had now a little? But the thing was, Butters had always obsessed over Kenny a little, even when they didn’t speak to each other. Of course, everyone was a little obsessed with Kenny’s dazzling looks, but it wasn’t just that. Sure, Kenny looked like an angel straight from heaven, but he wasn’t one. Kenny was different. Different from everyone Butters had ever met. He wasn’t a saint, he wasn’t a demon.

 

He was… real. 

 

Butters looked up at his locker. He shook his head and sighed to himself. This definitely wasn’t how friends thought about each other. Was it possible that…

 

Butters  _ liked  _ Kenny? 

 

_ In a not so friendly way? _

 

Butters slapped himself mentally. Of course he didn’t like Kenny. Right? Kenny wasn’t queer. Besides, even if he was, he had standards. He wouldn’t date someone like Butters.

 

No one would date someone like Butters.

 

The blonde boy opened his locker while rolling his eyes at his stupid thoughts. Then, a note fell out and landed on the floor. Butters bent down and picked it up, turning it over. It was a piece of white paper, folded into a little note. It looked like a love letter sort of. The ones you put in your crush’s locker in kindergarten.

 

But this wasn’t a love letter. Butters took the note with his thumb and index finger and opened the note.

 

_ Remember. _

 

At the bottom right corner of the letter, there was a bloody finger print.

 

_ What the fuck?! _

 

Butters folded the note again and stuck it in his pocket. His pulse went crazy. The note was from Kenny, definitely. Kenny wanted Butters to remember something. Something about that day Butters didn’t remember. In fact, more and more of his memories of that day had started to fade away. 

 

There was something about that day.

 

Like a curse.

 

Butters grabbed his things and closed the locker. He started walking towards the exit, with only one thought on his mind.

 

Kenny McCormick. He was going to find his apartment.

 

He had been acting so strange, even stranger than before. Something had happened. He didn’t know what, but he had been involved in some way. Kenny wouldn’t have acted so strange if that wasn’t the case. 

 

But of course, Butters wasn’t stupid. he had some idea of what had happened. In some way, the blonde boy knew that it had to do with those blood stains on Kenny’s jacket. The blood. All the blood must be connected in some way. The blood on his shirt and Kenny’s blood. What if… the blood came from the same person? What if that blood was Kenny’s blood? 

 

Or maybe it even was Butter’s?

 

Butters collected all his things too and put it all in his backpack. He zipped it up and slung it over his shoulder. While leaving the building and quitting school for the day, he knew what he was going to do. He was going to find out what had caused all the blood to appear everywhere. And to do that, he needed help. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed the new chapter! Thank you for reading! 
> 
> /thelilnugget


	9. Karen McCormick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Butters goes to find Karen McCormick, Kenny's little sister, who he suspects knows where Kenny is. 
> 
> It's time to finally get some answers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the next chapter! I hope you like it!

_ I hoped I wouldn’t have to see this place ever again. _

 

Butters mumbled curse words under his breath while entering the school yard of South Park elementary school. No matter how deeply he stuck his hands in his pockets, his fingertips still felt like a bunch of icicles. Kids were playing and laughing everywhere on the big yard. Butters took a deep breath. The kids made Butters remember his old school days, and all the recesses he had spent alone. It wasn’t nostalgic at all, all it did was giving him anxiety.

 

But he had no time for anxiety right now. He was on a mission. He had to find the one person he knew would know where Kenny was. 

 

Karen McCormick, Kenny’s little sister.

 

Butters hadn’t spoken to Karen much before. Sometimes she had joined the boys when they were playing when they were younger, but they had never really gotten to know each other. Butters only thought good things about Karen. She seemed like a really sweet girl who wanted nothing but good things for other people. Kind of like Butters himself. 

 

But Karen wasn’t there. Butters looked around, trying to find her among the other playing children, but she was nowhere to be seen. 

 

_ Maybe she’s at home sick  _ Butters thought to himself. While his mood dropped instantly, the short boy turned to leave through the same gate he had entered through, but something caught his eye.

 

By the fence a few metres away, a brunette sat on a bench and read a book. Her hair reached just below her ears and she was wearing a black leather jacket, which looked very cold. Butters couldn’t quite see her face, since the girl’s hair covered most of it, but he was almost certain that the girl was Karen. Sure, her style had changed, but her small figure and hair colour gave her away. 

 

Karen or not, Butters decided to approach the girl. Butters tried to sneak past all the other kids, so that they wouldn’t ask him questions about what he, a teenager, was doing there. None of them seemed to care that he was there anyway, so Butters walked up to the small girl, who hadn’t noticed him yet. 

 

“Uh, Karen?” Butters asked quietly. The girl looked up with a puzzled look on her face. Her face lit up with a smile when she saw Butters.

 

“Hi, Leopold!” she said with a cheery voice. Yes, this girl was definitely Karen. Her face was still as full of life as it used to be. Butters smiled back at her.

 

“Could I sit here?” He asked. Karen nodded. Butters sat down on the bench right next to her. 

 

“Why are you sitting here alone?”

 

Kenny’s little sister looked down at her book again. Her smile faded and she looked like she was in deep thought. 

 

“I just prefer it that way. What are you doing here?” She asked, changing the subject quickly.

 

“I’m actually here because of Kenny. Have you seen him lately? I’m sort of worried about him.”

 

Karen smiled softly and looked up at Butters again. This time he noticed that she was wearing some black eyeshadow. “I haven’t seen Kenny since last week. Why are you worried about him?”

 

“It’s just… he’s been acting strange lately. Something happened to him, and I think I’m involved. I just need to talk to him, he hasn’t been in school.”

 

Karen looked down at her book and seemed to consider if she should tell Butters something or not. She tucked some hair behind her ear, revealing some small pearl earrings. Butters couldn’t help but wonder how Karen could wear such expensive things when her family was so poor. But asking would be rude. 

 

“I don’t know what’s happening with Kenny. I know that he’s been acting weirder than usual, but he probably has a reason to do so.”

 

“He doesn’t live at home anymore, right?” Butters asked. Karen looked up at him again with a confused expression on her face. “How did you know that?” She asked, puzzled. The blonde boy looked down at his fingernails that poked out of his gloves, since his gloves didn’t have any fingers on them. “I went to his house and your mom… sort of told me. She said I should look in town for Kenny. Do you know what she meant by that?”

 

Karen shook her head and finally closed her book. “Fuck. She wasn’t supposed to tell anyone. Kenny wanted to keep it a secret.”

 

“So he has his own place? Like, an apartment?” Butters tried to ask as politely as he could. Karen was looking at the ground again. “Yeah, he’s moved to a small apartment in the middle of South Park. He has lived there for like two months now.”

 

“Do you miss him?”

 

“A little. But he lets me visit often, so it’s okay.”

 

“So you know his address?” 

 

Now Karen looked a little uncomfortable. Butters realised that this was a sensitive subject for her. Maybe Kenny had made her promise not to tell anyone his address, and here Butters was trying to get her to tell him, even though he and Kenny hadn’t been speaking for years. How could Karen trust Butters, when Butters wasn’t even sure if Kenny trusted him? She couldn’t, and now the blonde boy was feeling guilty for pushing her. He carefully moved a bit away from her.

“Hey… I’m sorry. I shouldn’t push you on this. If Kenny has asked you not to tell anyone, I understand.”

 

“No, it’s okay” Karen said while tracing the back of her book with her finger. “Kenny probably trusts you. I’m just not used to having to “share” Kenny with someone.” Kenny’s little sister said while making quotation marks in the air. “When you grow up with two older brothers, you learn how to defend yourself and take care of yourself. They took care of me. It used to be just us, and now they both have other friends and girlfriends and stuff. They don’t have time for me.”

 

Butters looked down at the ground and felt a sting in his stomach when Karen mentioned girlfriends. He didn’t know why. 

 

“Right, you have Kevin too. Where’s he?”

 

“He moved to North Park with some chick. Think her name was Sally.”

 

“Does Kenny have a girlfriend too?”

 

“No. He lives alone.”

 

Then Karen looked up at Butters with a smirk on her face, which made her look very much like Kenny. “So you totally have shot.”

 

Butters felt his face heat up and he tried to hide it by looking away. He coughed a little in his hand before continuing.

 

“Okay, uh, good to know.”

 

“Do you have a piece of paper?” Karen asked suddenly. Butters reached down his pocket for the small notepad he always kept there.

 

“Yeah, here. Why?”

 

Karen took the notepad Butters handed to her, and turned to a blank page. She reached behind her ear and grabbed a pen there, which Butters hadn’t noticed. She scribbled something down in the notepad and handed it back to Butters. “This is Kenny’s address. I’ve written my name signature on the bottom right corner, so he’ll know that I gave it to you.Tell him I said hi.”

 

Butters took the note and stared at it in disbelief. He actually got Kenny’s address? The blonde boy scanned the text quickly. It said Kenny lived in a small neighbourhood, with some small, cheap apartments. Butters had never been there, but he knew a lot of broke students moved there before getting a stable income. The short boy turned to Karen and smiled. 

 

“Thank you so much, Karen. Are you sure Kenny is okay with this?”

 

“Almost. He has said really nice things about you. He was probably about to tell you on his own soon anyway.”

 

Hearing that Kenny had said nice things about Butters, made the blonde boy feel a bit warm on the inside. Like the kind of warmth you could get from a cup of tea or hot chocolate. Butters reached behind his back and put the notepad back in his pocket.

 

“Well, then I should head over to Kenny’s then. Thank you so much for your help, Karen. Is there anything I can do for you to repay the favour?”

 

Karen smiled and gave Butters a friendly push. “It’s totally cool, dude. I think Kenny could use a friend right now. It’s really no big deal.”

 

“Well, I still appreciate it. See you around?” Butters said while standing up and brushing snow off of his lap. Karen smiled even brighter and stood up with him. “Definitely, if you’re gonna start hanging out with Kenny again. I’m rooting for you two.”

 

And then she winked, like Kenny would do, and turned to walk towards the school building, as the bell started to ring. Butters started to walk towards the exit, getting a few stares from some kids walking by.

Leopold went through the exit, and reached down his pocket to pull out the notepad again. Like Karen had said, there was Kenny’s address. Butters smiled at the small piece of paper. Finally he had something.

 

\---------------------------

 

Kenny’s apartment wasn’t so far away from Butter’s house. It was just about a fifteen minutes walk if you walked quickly, which Butters often did. 

 

The blonde boy was standing in front of a tall building, with anxiety in his stomach. This was the place. This was where Kenny lived. Butters had walked there with confidence, but now all of that had sunk. He nervously adjusted a strap on his backpack while trying to decide if he was gonna enter or not. Maybe Kenny would be super creeped out by the fact that Butters had his address? Or what if he never even wanted Butters there in the first place?

 

The short boy swallowed hard and walked up to the blue, shiny door. The building looked quite new, which it probably was, since Butters hadn’t really been in that area for a while. He stared at the handle for a few seconds. 

 

_ It can’t be that bad, right? Kenny is a good guy. _

 

While trying to keep that thought in his head, Butters pushed on the handle, realised it was a door you were supposed to pull, did so and entered the building. 

\-------

 

_ Fuck fuck fuck fuck… _

 

For every step Butters took in the stairs, his heart sunk even lower. Anxiety hit him like waves and his thoughts were basically screaming at him to turn around and just forget the whole thing.

 

But the feeling of wanting to help Kenny was even stronger, and Butters knew that if he chickened out now, he would regret it for the rest of his life. There was no turning back. This was the right thing to do. He couldn’t hide from this.

 

Butters took the last few steps before reaching the third floor. There were two doors in front of him. On one of them, the name “Caroline Smith” was written on a small, silver sign. The other door had no name, so that had to be where Kenny lived. According to Karen, Kenny lived on the third floor. She couldn’t possibly be wrong, right? Kenny wouldn’t put his own name on his door if he was trying to keep a low profile.

 

Butters stared at the door for probably a minute before knocking. What was he going to say? What was there to say? How was he supposed to explain how he had found Kenny’s address? The blonde boy took a deep breath and tried to shake those thoughts off. He raised a hand and knocked three times with his knuckles. Almost instantly he heard footsteps on the other side of the door. The blonde boy felt his heart beating faster, and suddenly the door opened.

 

“Butters?” 

 

Butters froze when he heard the boy in front of him, speak to him. Kenny stared at him with confused eyes. He was wearing a white t-shirt and a pair of loose jeans, his hair messy and untamed. Butters couldn’t help but stare Kenny up and down, hoping he wouldn’t notice. 

 

Kenny was fucking _ hot.  _

 

“Uh, hi! I mean, uh, your sister gave me your address. She told me you lived here.” 

 

_ Wow, smooth Butters. Real smooth.  _

 

Kenny raised an eyebrow. “My sister gave you my address? Why did she do that?”

 

Butters rubbed his neck awkwardly. “Uh, I sort of asked her? Not in a creepy way though! I understand if you want to be left alone! I can leave if you want.”

 

“Whoa, whoa” Kenny said and put a hand on Butter’s shoulder. “Slow down, man. It’s cool. Wanna come inside?”

 

Butters was surprised at Kenny’s sudden mood change. He went from suspicious and mysterious to his old, friendly self. The taller boy stepped aside as to invite Butters inside. Butters took the chance and walked through the door.

 

\----------------

 

“You can sit down.” Kenny said and gestured to the couch in the corner of the room the two boys had just walked into. It was a sort of living room, with almost no furniture, except for the couch, a carpet and a few lamps. Butters sat down on the couch and placed his backpack next to him. 

 

“I know it’s not much. I haven’t gotten so much furniture yet, but soon it’ll look a bit better here.” Kenny said while picking up a few things from the floor and tossing them into his bedroom, attempting to clean a little. Butters smiled.

 

“I think it looks cozy, Ken. It’s a home at least, right?”

 

Kenny walked back to Butters and plopped down next to him. “I can’t believe Karen would blow my cover. I didn’t want to drag you into this.” He mumbled while rubbing his face with his hands. Butters scooted a little closer. 

 

“Drag me into what? It’s not like you’ve murdered someone, Kenny.”

 

“No, but you don’t deserve to be pulled into this mess I’ve made. It’s not fair to you. I shouldn’t have tried to tell you in the first place.”

 

“So you obviously know what I’m here for then?”

 

“It’s the blood right?” Kenny said quietly while looking up at the short boy next to him. Butters swallowed and nodded. “So you have been seeing it too?”

 

“Yes. My shirt was soaked when I woke up the morning after that…  _ thing  _ happened. Something I’m apparently supposed to remember, but I don’t remember anything.”

 

“That’s why you’re here? You want me to tell you what actually happened?”

 

Butters nodded. Kenny sighed and moved in closer to Butters, as if he was going to whisper. 

 

“I have told many people about this, Butters, but no one has remembered it. I doubt you will.”

 

“Then I’ll write it down.”

 

“Text disappears too. I can’t promise you will remember. I will explain everything, okay?” Kenny added when he saw Butters confused face

 

Kenny ran a hand through his hair and drew a deep sigh. “Are you ready to hear the weirdest fucking thing you will ever hear?”

 

“As ready as I’ll ever be.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're wondering anything or noticed something weird in the story, please leave a comment. Thank you for reading!
> 
> (Kudos and comments are highly appreciated)


	10. Cursed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes the truth isn't believable. 
> 
> Sometimes it's just too painful to believe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all like this new chapter!

Butters felt like he was gonna throw up.

 

Throw up really badly.

 

He sort of wanted to throw up.

 

Maybe vomiting would get rid of all the horrible feelings that were bubbling inside of him at the moment.

 

“Hey… are you okay?”

 

The words were whispered into Butter’s ear softly, but to Butter’s it felt like someone was screaming inside his head. Everything felt intensified, like the lights in the room were so fucking bright, even though they were dimmed. 

 

Butters was hunching over Kenny’s toilet, which was smelling much better than he had expected it to, probably because Kenny had cleaned it recently. He didn’t know what to expect from a guy as amazing as Kenny. That he would have a dirty toilet? Barely believable. Kenny had grown up with dirty things in his home his entire life, so now that he had a chance to have clean things, he probably wanted to take that.

 

“I’ll get you a glass of water. Just stay here, I’ll be right back.”

 

_ As if I could go anywhere,  _ Butters thinks, but he doesn’t say it aloud. He just keeps staring down the toilet and tries to swallow his sickness. It works a little. He lifts his head and coughs into the luke warm air. Why he suddenly started to feel so sick, Butters didn’t know. Either he had been sick before, and didn’t feel it until now, or Kenny’s story had been too sickening. 

 

Butters had  _ not  _ been prepared to hear it.

  
  


_ “Butters, I won’t blame you if you don’t believe me, but please try to, okay?” _

 

_ “As long as you promise you’re not joking, it’s fine.” _

 

_ “I swear on my little sister’s life that I’m not joking in any way.” _

 

_ “Then I’ll believe you no matter what.” _

 

_ Kenny shifts a little, clearly showing that he doesn’t like to talk about this. _

 

_ “I… I can’t die.” _

 

_ “What?” _

 

_ “I’m incapable of dying.” _

 

_ “What… What do you mean by that? You can’t die?” _

 

_ “No. I’ve died multiple times during my lifetime, and I always come back to life.” _

 

_ “That can’t be true… I would have remembered that.” _

 

_ “That’s the thing. No one remembers my deaths. No one.” _

 

_ “But how could someone forget a thing like that?” _

 

_ “I don’t know. I’m confused too.” _

 

_ “How many times have you died?” _

 

_ “More times than I can count.” _

 

_ Butters stares at Kenny like he’s a ghost. Or like he’d gone mental in front of Butter’s eyes. _

 

_ “How… How is that even possible?” _

 

_ “I don’t know. It started when we were in kindergarten, and it’s just become worse over the years.” _

 

_ “How do you, like, die? Is it peaceful? Is it the same every time?” _

 

_ “It’s anything but peaceful. I don’t want to go into detail. But it’s different every time.” _

 

_ “Is it caused by something particular?” _

 

_ “No. Not really.” _

 

_ “Have you ever… killed yourself?” _

 

_ “Yes. I’ve tried that. It didn’t work.” _

 

_ “I just… I can’t believe it. I’m sorry Kenny, I know I promised to believe you.” _

 

_ “You witnessed me die just a few days ago.” _

 

_ “Do you mean that weird day I can’t remember?” _

 

_ “Yes. That day a car hit me.” _

 

_ “You were hit by a car?! How can I not remember this?” _

 

_ “I’m surprised that you even realised that you didn’t remember anything. Most people don’t.” _

 

_ “The day after that… I think I found blood on my shirt. Like, actual blood. But my memory is foggy there too.” _

 

_ “My theory is that everything connected to my deaths disappear eventually. The blood on your shirt was only temporary, and that’s why you can’t remember much about it.” _

 

_ “But if I was standing right next to you when that car came, wouldn’t I have died too?” _

 

_ “You weren’t standing right next to me.” _

 

_ “Then how could the blood have gotten there?” _

 

_ “Do you really want to know that?” _

 

_ “Yes. I want to know everything.” _

 

_ “Well… you ran up to my dying corpse. And you hugged me.” _

 

_ Butters stays silent for a moment. He suddenly feels a strong feeling of sickness in his stomach.  _

 

_ “I think I’m gonna throw up.” _

 

And that’s how he ended up in this mess. Sitting on Kenny’s bathroom floor almost throwing up. Butter’s was ashamed. Kenny had trusted him with this huge secret (which Butter’s still couldn’t quite believe) and he had just become sick. Like he was weak, and couldn’t handle the truth.

 

The bathroom door opened again, and more light seeped into the small bathroom, making Butters squint and turn his head away from the door opening. “Sorry. I’ll turn off the lights.” Kenny said apologetically and pressed the button on the wall, making the bathroom almost completely dark. “Can you even see anything now?” Butters whispered. “I’ll feel my way to you.” Kenny answered.

 

He walked forward and sat down on his knees and grabbed Butter’s arm lightly, to feel that he was there. “Here.” he said and handed the glass to Butters, who tried to take it without spilling. His hands were shaking. 

 

“I’m sorry for being such a mess, Ken.” 

 

“You’re not a mess.”

 

“I’m sorry for being such a coward.”

 

“You don’t have to apologize for anything, Butters. I’m just glad you’re here.”

 

Butters looked up at Kenny, even though he couldn’t see his face properly in the dark. “You’re glad I’m here?”

 

Kenny shrugged, even though Butters couldn’t see it. “I’m glad someone is listening. I just hope you’re not scared of me.”

 

“Why would I be scared of you?”

 

“I’m cursed, Butters. You have every right to be afraid of me.”

 

“I’m not. If anything, I’m just scared of the curse, not you.”

 

Kenny sat down properly and crossed his legs. Butters took a chug from his water, feeling a bit better than before.

 

“I’m the one who carries the curse. Wouldn’t that make me scary?” Kenny whispered.

 

“It’s not like you’re gonna curse  _ me,  _ Ken.”

“You don’t know that.”

 

Butters looked up at Kenny, since his eyes had now adjusted to the dark. “No, I don’t. But I don’t think you’re gonna curse me.”

 

“Why? How can you trust me?”

 

“ _ Do _ you want to curse me?”

 

“No.”

 

“Well, then, case closed.”

 

“How are you so chill about this?”

 

“I’m not, I’m terrified. But I think you’re more scared than I am.”

 

Kenny smiled weakly in the dark, seeming to have forgotten that Butters and him hadn’t properly known each other until very recently, because he reached out and hugged the shorter boy tightly like they were close friends. Butters hesitated slightly before wrapping his arms around Kenny too. Kenny was warm. Warmer than most people would be in room temperature. Butters wondered if he himself was cold. Maybe he was. He had felt cold before Kenny hugged him.

 

The hug was awkward, since they were sitting down, but Butters stil melted into it. He hadn’t been hugged in a long while. Not the way Kenny was hugging him right now. It felt oh so wonderful, because Butters loved physical contact, but he rarely got any.    
  


“Thank you. You’re the only one who has ever believed me.” Kenny whispered softly into Butter’s ear. Now noise wasn’t bothering Butters anymore. 

 

“I’m just relieved I know what’s wrong now.”

 

“I can’t believe I stopped talking to you.”

 

“Why did you?”

 

Kenny took a deep breath and released Butters from his embrace, sitting up straight again. The lack of contact made the shorter boy feel cold again. 

 

“Because the curse got worse. I didn’t want anyone involved.”

 

“The curse got worse? What happened?”

 

The taller boy took a deep sigh and stood up. His tall body looked even taller from Butter’s perspective. 

 

“It’s late. I promise I’ll tell you more tomorrow.”

 

“Oh. Right.”

 

Butters stood up as well and brushed off his pants. He felt a bit dizzy standing up, but not as bad as before. He looked up and met Kenny’s soft gaze. Even though it was dark, Butters could see some light from outside reflect in Kenny’s eyes.

 

“I should get home then.”

 

“Or… you could stay if you’d like?”

 

“Stay?”

 

Kenny rubbed his neck and checked the time on his phone. “It’s snowing pretty heavily outside. I don’t want to make you go home right now.”

 

Butters felt his face heating up, not knowing why. Maybe it was the sweet gesture. Or it was the fact that Kenny was actually  _ really fucking hot in the dark. _

 

“Uh- yeah! Sure, I can stay. If you want me to, of course.”

 

“It’s no big deal. I’ll prepare the couch for you. Be careful, so that you don’t faint or anything.”

 

Butters smiled warmly. “Sure.”

 

_ KENNY _

 

He was in his apartment. 

 

He was here, and he knew everything. He wasn’t scared of Kenny. He believed him. 

 

Him.

 

Leo.

 

The boy with the blonde hair and the turquoise eyes.

 

The boy who was more alive than anyone else in the universe.

 

And Kenny was completely and utterly in love with him. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long between chapters. If you read the description, you know that I don't have much time to write at the moment. Hopefully, I'll be able to get chapters up more frequently soon. 
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	11. Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who knew coffe could end up in such a disaster? And who knew a disaster could be so much better than everything going well?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy the next chapter!

Kenny had never been in love before. 

 

Well, of course he had experienced attraction, but not like this. Never like this. This was new. Everything was new with Butters.

 

It was like Butters had added something to Kenny’s life that he didn’t know he needed. Something that he had never had before. Something that he hadn’t been able to find in porn magazines or in random crushes. Something that maybe only Butters could provide him with. 

 

Whatever it was, it was going to drive Kenny insane. But it was also the only thing keeping him sane. 

 

The first thing Kenny did every morning after waking up was to stare at the ceiling for multiple minutes. That was what he was doing at the moment, lying in his bed in his bedroom. It had become more and more difficult to get out of bed lately, which often resulted in not going to school at all. Kenny hadn’t expected people to notice that he was absent, since his curse had become worse over the years. Nowadays, people could forget lots of things about him, instead of just forgetting his deaths. It wasn’t that they forgot about his existence completely, just forgot that he was absent from school or things he had said. 

 

Kenny, who’s hair pointed in all directions, rubbed his eyes and let out a deep sigh. He knew that Butters most likely wouldn’t remember anything he had told him last night. Butters had remembered things about Kenny’s deaths better than anyone ever had, but Kenny didn’t want to get his hopes up. The blonde boy wasn’t sure if he could handle telling Butters all over again. Should he even tell him again? Was there any point? 

 

Kenny had lost hope of being with Butters, but he knew that if he wanted any chance to live a life with him, he would have to remind Butters every day of his condition. Maybe Butters would eventually remember, but that was too much to hope for. Being with Leopold Stotch was too much to hope for in general. There was no chance Kenny could be with anyone, really. Who would want to spend their life with a cursed person? No matter who he wanted to marry, or date, that person wou

 

_ “Time to stop it with the depressing thoughts…”  _ Kenny thought to himself, and sat up in his bed. It was rather small, his bedroom. Small, white walls, a simple closet in the corner and the bed. Maybe more things would come into the bedroom eventually, but Kenny didn’t really care. He had a boy on his couch who he had had to get up and make coffee for. Well, he didn’t  _ have  _ to, but that boy happened to also be the potential love of his life, so he wanted to make every moment that boy spent in his apartment special. Making coffee for someone felt romantic. That was what they did in the rom-coms. 

 

Kenny kicked the covers off of himself and let his feet touch the cold, wooden floor. He stood up and grabbed his phone on the nightstand, checking the time.  _ 07:17 _

That was the earliest Kenny had gotten out of bed in almost a week. That was pretty big of an achievement, since some days he hadn’t bothered to get out of bed at all. 

 

The tall teenager tried to walk quietly through the hallway outside his bedroom to not wake up his guest. Butters didn’t make any sounds when he slept apparently, so Kenny couldn’t hear if he was asleep or not. To get to Kenny’s kitchen, you had to walk through the living room, which meant that Kenny had to walk past the most likely sleeping Butters. Kenny was himself a light sleeper, and woke up very easily if someone made a noise, so he was very afraid that he would wake Butters if he made any noise whatsoever. 

 

The blonde got to the door opening that led to the living room, and stopped for a second. Butters was lying on the couch, just like he had been yesterday. His face was almost completely in the pillow and he was hugging it tightly. His eyes were closed and soft breathing could be heard if you were completely quiet, which Kenny was. Butters was definitely still asleep, but that didn’t keep Kenny from lingering in the door opening and observing the sleeping person on his couch. The short boy looked so peaceful lying there, and not troubled at all. Kenny felt a sting of regret in his stomach. Maybe now when Butters knew about Kenny’s curse, he would worry about him all the time. Maybe he would feel the need to take a responsibility that he didn’t have to take. Maybe he would waste time on trying to help Kenny when he probably had his own problems. 

 

Kenny drew a deep but quiet sigh and continued to tip toe his way through the living room to the kitchen. He knew that he probably would wake Butters up with his coffee-making, since he usually made a lot of noise when he was in the kitchen, but he figured it would be better if Butters woke up to the noises in the kitchen than waking up to Kenny staring at him sleeping. He got to the kitchen and opened the cupboard to grab the coffee filters. All he had to do now was not fuck up and wake Butters up. 

  
  


**_Butter’s PoV_ **

 

Butters woke up the sounds of someone cursing. Not the greatest way to start your morning. The blonde boy’s eyes almost shot opened when he heard loud noises from the kitchen. He sat up quickly and rubbed his eyes hard to wake himself up a little before getting up and almost skipped over to the kitchen. There was no door between the kitchen and the living room, so Butters just quietly peaked into the room through the door frame. Kenny was sucking on his thumb, which was almost completely covered in blood. On the floor and the counter lied broken shards from what Butters guessed, a cup. The shards were also bloody. 

 

“Jesus christ in heaven Kenny, what did you do?!” Butters exclaimed worryingly and ran up to the bleeding boy in front of him. He looked around the room and saw a roll of paper on the counter, which he grabbed and pulled off some paper from. While Kenny groaned a little, Butters took his bleeding hand and wrapped the paper around it. He wrapped a few of his pale fingers around to hold the paper in place.

 

“Do you have a first aid kit here somewhere? You’ll need to get a proper bandage on this.”

 

“Yeah, I do. It’s in the cabinet.” Kenny said before groaning in pain as Butters squeezed his hand a little bit too hard. “Sorry.” Butters mumbled quickly under his breath. “Can you hold the paper in place for a second?”

 

Kenny’s hand switched places with Butter’s, and the latter went over to the mentioned cabinet and opened it. He had to stand on his toes to reach the small, red box and only barely managed to get it out. Butters turned around again and walked over to bleeding boy in front of him. Once again, he grabbed Kenny’s hand and Kenny himself let go of it. 

 

”Christ, Ken, what happened? It looks like you punched a mirror.” The shorter boy mumbled while attempting to get a bandage on Kenny’s hand. Kenny grimaced from the added pressure. “I was grabbing a cup from the cupboard and somehow I managed to knock another cup over and it landed on… my hand…” Kenny said hesitantly, as if he was now realising how stupid it sounded.

 

“That sound highly unlikely, but I’m guessing your curse has to do something with it?” Butters asked while still fiddling with Kenny’s hand and the bandage. He didn’t quite know how to do first aid.

 

“Yeah, something like that. I can get injured in very unlikely ways, nowadays. This isn’t the worst th-“

Kenny’s sentence suddenly cut off and he stared, visibly shocked, at Butters. Butters looked up with a confused look. “What? What did I do?”

 

“...do you remember the curse?” Kenny said puzzled. Butters chuckled, even more confused. “Yeah? Why wouldn’t I?” Then a short break followed before Butters understood what Kenny meant. “Oh, you mean like how people always forget when you tell them? Guess that didn’t happen now!” The shorter boy said gleefully. Kenny’s eyes remained shocked though, as if he couldn’t believe what Butters was saying. “But… that has never happened before. Never.” Kenny said while looking up and blinking repeatedly. He rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand. “I’m not dreaming, am I…?”

 

Butters giggled. “Probably not. You dropped a cup on your hand, which I could hear hurt pretty bad, so you would probably have woken up by now if that was the case.” 

 

Kenny shook his head and chuckled as well. “Yeah. You’re right. I guess I’m just surprised it finally happened.”

 

Butters added the finishing touches to Kenny’s hand with a few pieces of medical tape to hold the bandage in place. Then he gently, without thinking, pressed a small kiss onto it. Too late, he realised that maybe it was a little weird to kiss Kenny’s hand. He coughed a little and looked up at Kenny again. “Uh, yeah. Me too. Or, you know...“

 

Kenny, who was a bit flustered too, laughed a little. “That was hot.” 

 

Butters stared at him, not getting the joke at all. Kenny laughed again and gave him a friendly push. “I’m joking, Butters!” he chuckled. Butters started laughing a bit too. “Oh…” 

 

“You should’ve seen your face… best thing I’ve seen today.” Kenny said before turning around and grabbing the coffee pot again with his working hand. “Well, I should get back to breakfast…” he mumbled under his breath. Butters bent down and started picking up the shards from the broken coffee mug. “What, no! Your hand is hurt, dude, I’ll make breakfast for both of us.” 

 

Kenny groaned when Butters took the coffee pot from him and threw away the bloody shards. “But you’re my guest, you shouldn’t have to clean and cook while you’re here.” 

 

Butters shook his head and grabbed the coffee powder from the counter that he had noticed earlier. “It’s the least I can do for you, Ken. You’re letting me stay here, and you hurt your hand. Let me do this for you.”

 

Kenny sighed and smiled weakly. “Thank you, but… can I at least help you a little?”

Butters chuckled. “Whatever makes you happy, Kenny.”

 

The two young boys continued to laugh with each other while making breakfast, because there was still  _ so much _ they needed to catch up on with each other, even after their lunch date they had some time ago. By now, they had already been through some new stuff together, so by now they were comfortable enough with each other to talk about the things they hadn’t really been comfortable enough to speak about before. Butters opened up a bit about his parents, even. 

 

“... so yeah, that’s probably when I decided that I wanted to move away from South Park when I graduate. I still do, even though it feels a bit more manageable now, when they aren’t home.” Butters said while flipping a pancake over in a small pan. Kenny was leaning against the kitchen counter with crossed arms. He whistled. “You’ve wanted to move away for that long? Not even I have wanted to leave for that long.”

 

“Well, I suppose I had my “realisation” when I was eleven.” Butters said while flipping the pancake again. “That was sort of when my parents stopped hiding their true selves. Ever since, I’ve tried avoiding them the best I’ve could.”

 

“Wow. My parents might be bad parents, but they’ve never been that mean to me. I’m really sorry, dude.” Kenny said while rubbing his hurt hand a little. 

 

Butters chuckled, but it sounded like he was truly hurt by the tone of his voice. “The show must go on, right? They’re away now, and probably won’t be back for a long time. I just have to make the best of it while they’re gone.”

 

“You can always stay here for a while longer. If they’re mean to you, you can always come here.” Kenny said quietly. Butters turned around and smiled brightly. “Thank you, Ken. That means a lot.”

 

“I really don’t mind that you’re here. Like,  _ really  _ don’t mind.” Kenny said with a soundable smirk. The shorter boy giggled. “Sounds like you might want me to stay for good.”

 

“Oh, what do you know? I might kidnap you and keep you here forever:” The taller blonde said with a dramatic voice. 

 

“If I didn’t know better, Mr. McCormick, I’d say you’re flirting with me.” Butters joked and threw a teasing glance at Kenny. “Perhaps I am.” Kenny said, more serious sounding than Butters. 

 

And there it was again. That warm, comforting feeling in Butters chest that he had felt a while ago, also because of the charming man right in front of him. Kenny’s voice was raspy, kinda deep and pretty  _ damn sexy,  _ which didn’t make this new and strange feeling any easier to handle. Butters felt his face heat up and he just knew that he probably was blushing hard because of his  _ very-not-appropriate-thoughts  _ that shouldn’t happen in his head right now, but that didn’t stop them from hitting him hard. The short boy just tried his best to laugh it all off and hid his face away as well as he could. Kenny was breathing pretty heavily behind him too, which didn’t make things easier to handle. 

 

But luckily, Kenny’s bad luck seemed to have affected Butters, because in the next second, the blond boy suddenly swore loudly and threw the cooking pancake in the bin. “Fuck, I burned it again. How could someone suck this much at making pancakes?!” he exclaimed, clearly very upset. Kenny just laughed at Butters misery and gave him a friendly pat on his back. “It’s okay, Butters. We can’t all be shining stars…” he said sarcastically. Butters punched him gently in the side and laughed with him. “As if you could do any better! I bet you burn all your pancakes.”

 

“Yep, I definitely do. Wanna go to Tweak Bros’ and get croissants instead? The coffee I make is garbage anyways.”

 

Butters smiled brightly. “That sounds great. I’m definitely craving an iced latte after this disaster morning.”

 

"Tweak Bros' it is then!"

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so incredibly grateful for all the support that people have given me on this fic. I've nit been very motvated to write, but all the kind comments have inspired me to keep going and finishing this fic no matter what. The next chapter will come quicker than this one, I promise! Again, thank you for sticking with me, even though the slow updates.<3
> 
> Leave kudos or a comment! It means a lot to me<3
> 
> /TheLilNugget

**Author's Note:**

> Well, hope you enjoyed the first chapter of my new story! Also hope you like Bunny, because that's what's coming! It might not be too long, but some people prefer short stories, so... 
> 
> Please leave kudos or a comment! /TheLilNugget


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